Polygynous Blessings

NPR Two-Part Series on Muslim Plural Marriage in the US

2008-05-28T21:56:00.000-04:00

Assalaamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh.

Today, NPR (National Public Radio) aired a two-part series on the practice of polygyny amongst Muslims living in the US. The first part focuses on the immigrant community, the second on the African American community. It's interesting to see the contrast between the reactions and opinions expressed in the two communities maashaaAllaah. The second part audio won't be available until around 7 this evening, but maaashaaAllaah the brothers and sisters who were interviewed did an excellent job. So, definitely visit the second story page later to listen to the audio.

Part One: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90857818
Part Two: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90886407

NEW AUDIO: Marital Reflections from the Best of Speech and the Best of Guidance

2008-03-31T18:00:00.004-04:00

Assalaamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh. Alhamdulillaah, I had the pleasure of delivering a lecture on marriage entitled, "Marital Reflections: From the Best of Speech and the Best of Guidance," at Masjid Uqbah in Cleveland, Ohio. The audio of the lecture can be accessed on the player above under the heading, "Marital Reflections (Masjid Uqbah)." Also, for those that would like to purchase a hard-copy of the lecture, it will be available as a CD shortly via the Polygynous Expressions' e-store: http://www.lulu.com/poly_blessings.

Baarak Allaahu feekum!

Polygynous Blessings Revised

2008-02-21T13:45:00.000-05:00

Polygyny Audio

2008-01-25T15:46:00.000-05:00

FOR YOUR LISTENING BENEFIT

ALSO CHECK OUT:

Jealousy of the Women-Hassan As-Somaali

For those that would like to listen to the recent lecture that I did on PALTALK, you may do so by scrolling down to the third lecture on the player above entitled, "PALTALK: Polygyny in Islaam." Or, you may download the lecture at the following link:

http://www.divshare.com/download/3593329-4f5

***CORRECTION: In the PALTALK lecture on polygyny in Islaam given Thursday, January 24, when speaking about the mistaken claim of people that aayah 129 of Soorat An-Nisaa' abrogates the permissibility of polygyny, it was stated that the verse which people claim is being abrogated is aayah 4. This is a mistake. The correct verse is aayah 3. 'Afwaan.

For those who would like the written transcript of the PALTALK lecture, you may access it by clicking here.

Baarak Allaahu feekum!

UPDATE: Polygyny Anthology Project

2008-01-22T19:55:00.000-05:00

Bismillaah Inalhamdalillaah was-Salaatu was-Salaamu 'Aalaa Rasulillaah wa Ba'd:

Assalaamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh. Submissions for the brothers' polygyny anthology as well as the co-wife anthology are no longer being accepted. Polygynous Expressions has merged the brothers' anthology with the co-wife anthology and we are diligently working to compile a beneficial piece of literature. The first draft has been completed and mashaaAllaah is 160 pages of scholarly proofs, beneficial reminders and wise naseehah. The book has been forwarded to a number of students of knowledge for review, may Allaah reward them abundantly for assisting us in this endeavor. And may Allaah reward all those who have submitted material for publication. Ameen. Please keep us in your du'aa and refer back to the Polygynous Expressions site in the future for updates on the release of our latest book, which will be entitled, "Ta'addud Az-Zawjaat: Candid Reflections on Polygyny from the Muslim Ummah."

Baarak Allaahu feekum!

Sister Aneesa fee New York
Founder, Polygynous Expressions
http://www.polygynousexpressions.com
***

Ta’addud Az-Zawjaat: Candid Reflections on Polygyny from the Muslim Ummah

COMPILED BY: Aneesa Azeez/Polygynous Expressions
PUBLISHER: TBA

About the Book
Ta'addud Az-Zawjaat: Candid Reflections on Polygyny from the Muslim Ummah will be the second publication to be released by Aneesa Azeez, also known as MizAzeez, following the publication of her memoir entitled, Polygynous Blessings: Musings of a Muslim Wife.

Included within this new publication are: commentary by reputable Muslim scholars, past and present, on Qur’aanic verses and Prophetic narrations related to marriage in general and polygyny in particular; scholarly advice and legal rulings on issues related to polygyny; testimonials from Muslim men and women on the benefits and trials of plural marriage, including advice on correctly and successfully implementing polygyny; narrations from the wives of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, regarding their dealings within polygyny; and reminders from the Qur’aan and Sunnah regarding emotions that undoubtedly arise within a polygynous marriage, such as jealousy, envy, and anger, as well as remedies to such behavior, such as patience and complete trust in and reliance upon Allaah.

Ta'addud Az-Zawjaat will be the first book to be released as part of an anthology series launched by Polygynous Expressions, a venture which seeks to publish literature highlighting positive examples of plural marriage within the Muslim community, alongside providing advice and scholarly proof on polygyny from the Qu'raan, Sunnah, and pious Muslim predecessors.

Polygynous Expressions was started in order to respond to the growing desire within the Muslim community for positive literature on polygyny written from a more personal standpoint, however, framed within the shade of the Qur’aan and Sunnah. While there is some written material on the topic of polygyny in Islaam from a more personal standpoint, most of this literature is from the voice of Muslim women, some directly involved in polygyny, some not. In addition, the resounding voice of existing literature on polygyny in Islaam from a personal standpoint seems to be a voice of opposition and Allaah, glorified and high is He above all imperfections, knows best.

Indeed, from the important aspects of a Muslim’s life is marriage and from the aspects of marriage ordained by Allaah and practiced by the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, is polygyny. Allaah states in the Qur’aan, the meaning of which is, “Marry other women of your choice, two, or three or four.” And it has been reported in Saheeh Al-Bukhaari from Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, “Marry, for the best person from this (Muslim) nation (i.e. Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him) had the largest number of wives.”

Many amongst the Muslim ranks are beginning to realize the growing need and practice of polygyny and so, instead of trying to avoid this part of the religion of Islaam or relegate it to the status of some type of abnormality or exception, more Muslims are seeking to better understand how to establish and maintain successful polygynous marriages. It is the sincere intention and hope of the compilers of Ta’addud Az-Zawjaat: Candid Reflections on Polygyny from the Muslim Ummah, that this book will aid the Muslims in better understanding and submitting to the legislation of Allaah, and that it will assist in strengthening the familial and marital bonds present throughout the Muslim community. And indeed, with Allaah lies all success.

The Anthology Project

2007-09-16T18:58:00.000-04:00

Fulfilling the Marital Bond’s Intended Purpose

2007-06-27T16:55:00.000-04:00

Deen. That all-encompassing word that so concisely describes the relationship of Islaam to its adherents…a way of life. The concept of faith being an entity separate from one’s worldy affairs is foreign to Islaam. For the Muslim, the one who submits oneself completely to the Will and Qadr of Allaah, spiritual and worldly affairs coincide, so that one’s actions, whether they be the performance of the salaah or actions related to one’s career aspirations, should all be with the intention of seeking the pleasure of Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala. And one’s actions will not gain Allaah’s subhanahu wa ta’ala pleasure unless they are in accordance with what He subhanahu wa ta’ala has legislated, both in the Qur’aan and in the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.

This connection between one’s actions and one’s submission to the commandments of their Rabb does not stop when it comes to marriage. Indeed from the benefits and blessings of Al-Islaam is Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala enjoining upon his male and female servants the bond of matrimony. However, in the Qur’aan, Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala not only enjoins the believing men and women to get married, but He ta’ala also explains the purpose behind this marital bond, a purpose that is connected to a husband and wife’s treatment of one another. Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala states in the Noble Qur’aan, the meaning of which is:

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.” (Surat Ar-Ruum 30:21)

Also, Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala states in the Noble Qur’aan, the meaning of which is:

“It is He Who has created you from a single person, and He has created from him his wife, in order that he may enjoy the pleasure of living with her.” (Surat Al-A’raaf 7:189)

In Ibn Katheer’s tafseer of the above-mentioned ayah he states that it is “out of Allaah’s perfect mercy [that] He made their [Adam’s progeny’s] wives from their own kind, and created love and kindness between them.” So, inherent in the design of mankind is the establishment of a relationship of love and mercy between the spouses. For indeed, Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala could have made women of a different creation from men, but instead in His Infinite Wisdom and Mercy, he created men and women from the same essence in order that they may be a source of tranquility and pleasure for one another.

Once the purpose behind Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala creating men and women is established in the minds of the Believers, there can be no doubt that in order to gain the pleasure of the Creator, one must not only get married, but in doing so, must treat their spouse in the manner which Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala has intended them to: with affection and mercy. Without these components, one’s fulfillment of the marital bond is left incomplete, bereft of its intended benefits in this life and unworthy of its potential rewards in the next life. And indeed with Allaah lies all success.

Ibn al-Qayyim on Polygyny

2007-06-27T16:49:00.000-04:00

Ibn al-Qayyim Discusses the Wisdoms of Islamic Polygyny

First, he addresses the wisdom in limiting the number of wives specifically to four:

"...so, this is from the completeness of His blessing and Shari'ah, and is in accordance with His wisdom, mercy, and benefit for His servants. This is because one of the purposes of marriage is sexual intercourse and the fulfillment of one's desire, and from the people are those who are overtaken by their desire, and are not satisfied with one. So, He allowed him a second, third, and fourth one (i.e. three additional wives)...and the Legislator has attached numerous rulings to this number (three), as He has allowed the migrant to remain in Makkah for three days after completing his rituals, and allowed the traveller to wipe over his footwear for three days, and made the preferred length of hosting a guest to be three days..."

He then goes on to explain the wisdom in allowing multiple spouses for the man, in exclusion to the woman:

"...this is from the completeness of the Wisdom of the Exalted Lord, and His goodness and mercy towards His servants, and His taking their interests into account, and He is Exalted above doing anything other than this, and His Shari'ah is far from coming with other than this. If it was allowed for the woman to have two or more husbands, the world would be ruined, and progeny would be lost, and the husbands would end up killing each other, and a crisis would ensue, and the fitnah would become severe, and war would erupt. And how can the affair of the woman remain firm when she has bickering partners? And how can the affair of these partners themselves remain firm? So, the coming of the Shari'ah with what it came with of opposition to this is from the greatest of proofs of the wisdom, mercy, and consideration of the Legisator.

So, if it is said: how can the interests of the man be taken into account, with his being able to marry whom he wants, fulfill his desire, and move from one woman to the next in accordance with his desires and needs - all while the needs of the woman are just like his needs, and the desires of the woman are just like his desires?

We answer: since it is the nature of the woman to be concealed behind the walls and hidden in the depths of her home, and her moods are cooler than that of the man, and her outer and inner movements are less than his movements, and the man has been given strength and intensity that leads his desire more so than with the woman, and he has been tested with what she has not been tested with, he is granted the choice of having multiple spouses that is not available to the woman. This is from what Allah has set aside exclusively for the male, and has preferred for them over women, just as He has preferred for them Messengership, Prophethood, Khilafah, kingship and leadership, governance, Jihad , etc. over women. Also, He has made men to be guardians over women, traversing about for the purpose of looking after their best interests, constantly on the lookout for means of sustaining them, encountering dangers, and exposing themselves to all types of hardships in the path of doing what is best for their wives. So, the Exalted Lord is Thankful and Forbearing, and He thanks them for this, and has compensated them by instilling for them what He did not instill for their wives.

And if you compare the fatigue, hardship, and efforts of the man in fulfilling the interests of the women with what the women have to endure of jealousy, you would find that the man's share of having to endure this fatigue, hardship, and effort is much greater than what the women have to endure of jealousy..."

He continues:

"As for the one who says that the desire of the woman is even more than that of the man, this is not the case. The driving force behind the desire is fervor (lit. heat). So, where is the fervor of the woman in comparison to the fervor of the male? The woman - because of her free time, slowness, and absence of what will keep her busy from the fulfillment of her desire - might be overtaken by her desire, and will not find that which would oppose it. Rather, it finds a heart and soul free from distraction. So, it is able to instill itself within her to the utmost, resulting in one assuming that her desire is multiple times that of the man, and this is not the case.

And from that which proves this is that if a man has intercourse with his wife, he can have intercourse with other women in the same time frame, and the Prophet used to go around to all of his wives in a single night, and Sulayman went to 90 women in a single night, and it is known that with each woman, he displays desire and fervor that drives him to have intercourse. The woman, on the other hand, if the man fulfills his desire with her, she becomes exhausted, and does not seek to fulfill her desire with any additional man within that time frame.

So, the wisdom of of the Decree, Legislation, Creation, and Command is implemented, and praise is for Allah."

['I'lam al-Muwaqqi'in'; 2/64-66]

Marriage As An Act of 'Ibaadah

2007-04-20T07:11:00.000-04:00

assalaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh ya akhwaat. insha'Allah i pray that this post finds you all doing well, having a beautiful Yaumul Jumu'aah.

i just wanted to share something with you all that has been on my mind as of late. subhanAllah, the issue of abuse and neglect within my beloved sisters' marriages has been the hot topic lately on various online groups of which i am a member. and, Allaahu 'Alim, i don't know what was has moved me in a different way lately because as all of you know, the issue of abusive marriages is something that unfortunately is not new to any of our discussions. it seems to come up time and time again. there might be that period of calm where no sister sends an email seeking naseehah for her straitened circumstances and then all of a sudden the wimpers and the cries for help come blaring through our computer screens and we are reminded yet again of the plight of our beloved sisters. and even during the periods of calm, those of us who know anything about abuse know that silence doesn't necessarily mean happiness. we know that when it comes to abuse and neglect all too often voices go unheard, willingly or unwillingly, but nonetheless, silence does not mean "lack of problem." many of our sisters are hurting in silence, suffering in silence, enduring in silence. silence, when it comes to abuse, takes on a different form. it is not all calm and cool.

last night, as i struggled to go to sleep, i started to think and subhanAllah something popped into my head. for all of the abuse and neglect going on in marriages within this Ummah, it seems that we are forgetting that marriage, like everything else in this blessed deen is an act of 'ibaadah. and as with any act of 'ibaadah, when we perform it, we should be doing it for the sake of Allah and to gain His pleasure. every act of 'ibaadah should be done with ikhlas. we should strive to perfect every act of 'ibaadah and to perform it with it's proper hukm and in its proper manner. but subhanAllah, most importantly, with 'ibaadah, there is that awareness that our actions are connected to our worship of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and so, everything that we do should be something that will gain the pleasure of Allaah subhanahu wa ta'ala and not His Wrath. all of the characteristics i mentioned above, we apply these things to our salaah, we apply them to our fasting, we apply them to so many different aspects of our lives. but we forget them when it comes to our marriages. we forget that marriage is an act of 'ibaadah as well. that every action that we take towards our spouses, every move we make towards the preservation or degradation of our marriges, this is an act of 'ibaadah. and just like some of us perform our salaah with all of it's pillars and conditions, with total ihsan and khushoo', many of us fall short. similarly, in our marriages, if we were to recognize and realize that our marriages are a form of worship, insha'Allah we would then recognize and realize that as with any form of worship, we are supposed to approach it with ihsan. and subhanAllah, in the hadeeth of Jibreel 'alayhis-salaam we know that when Jibreel 'alayhis-salaam came to the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam in the form of a man and he asked him a series of questions, one of the questions he asked was, "what is ihsan?" and the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam stated,

"Ihsan is to worship Allah as if you see Him, and if you do not achieve this state of devotion, then (take it for granted that) Allah sees you." (Saheeh Al-Bukhaari, Vol. 6, Book 60, Hadeeth No. 4448)

subhanAllah if we treated our marriages like acts of 'ibaadah, we would approach them with ihsan, with the devotion and awareness that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala see all things. we would strive to perfect our marriages. we would strive to treat our spouses with kindness and compassion, with love and mercy, with justice. we would fulfill our responsibilities and fulfill the rights of our spouses. we would do all of this because we would know that every act we do is an act of 'ibaadah and hence will be a weight on our scales on the Day of Yaumul Qiyaamah, either for us or against us.

i want to end with a narration of Al-Hasan ibn 'Ali, radee Allahu anhuu. A man came to him and said, "I have a daughter. To whom should I marry her?" Al-Hasan replied: "Marry her to a man who has taqwa. For if he has taqwa and he loves her, there is nothing that he won't do for her. And if he has taqwa and he doesn't love her, he will never oppress or abuse her (because he fears Allah)." (This can be found at the beginning of Dawuud Adib's lecture "Problems Facing Muslim Women")

may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala ease the burdens of all my sisters in Al-Islaam who are suffering from abuse and neglect at the hands of their husbands. Ameen. may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala correct the affairs of your husbands and instill the taqwa in their hearts that will cause them to treat you justly. Ameen. and may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant all my sisters out there who are not yet married righteous spouses. Ameen.

subhaanaka Allaahumma wa bihamdika wa ash-hadu an laa ilaaha ilaa ant wa astaghfiruka wa atubuu ilayk.

the disease that many of us are afflicted with...

2007-03-29T01:18:00.000-04:00

The Disease of Desires and Passionate Love - Shaykh ul-Islaam ibn Taymiyyah rahimahullaah

Extracted from "Diseases of the Hearts & their Cures"
Compiled by Ibraaheem bin `Abdullaah al-Haazimee

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Miserliness and jealousy are sicknesses that lead to the soul hating that which would benefit it, and its loving that which would harm it. This is why jealousy was mentioned alongside hatred and resentment in the preceding ahaadeeth. As for the sickness of desire and passionate love then this is the soul loving that which would harm it and coupled with this is its hatred of that which would benefit it.

Passionate love is a psychological sickness, and when its effects become noticeable on the body, it becomes a sickness that afflicts the mind also. Either by afflicting the mind by the likes of melancholy, or afflicting the body through weakness and emaciation. But the purpose here is to discuss its affect on the heart, for passionate love is the fundament that makes the soul covet that which would harm it, similar is the one weak of body who covets that which harms it, and if he is not satiated by that then he is grieved, and if he is satiated then his sickness increases. The same applies to the heart afflicted with this love, for it is harmed by its connection to the loved, either by seeing, touching, hearing, even think about it. And if he were to curb the love then the heart is hurt and grieved by this, and if he given is to the desire then the sickness becomes stronger and becomes a means through which the grievance is increased.

In the hadeeth there occurs, "Indeed Allaah shelters His believing servant from the world just as one of you shelter your sick ones from food and drink (that would harm them)." [1]

In the hadeeth concerning the saving of Moosa reported by Wahb[2], which is recorded by Imaam Ahmad in az-Zuhd, "Allaah says: `Indeed I drive away My friends from the delights of this world and its opulence and comfort just as the compassionate shepherd drives away his camel from the dangerous grazing lands. And indeed I make them avoid its tranquility and livelihood, just as the compassionate shepherd makes his camel to avoid the resting-places wherein it would be easy prey. This is not because I consider them to be insignificant, but so that they may complete their portion of My Kindness in safety and abundance, the delights of the world will not attract him and neither would desires overcome him.'"

Therefore the only cure for the sick lies in his removing the sickness by removing this blameworthy love from his heart.

People are divided into two opinions concerning passionate love: One group says that if falls into the category of intentions and wishes, this being the famous opinion. Another groups says that it falls into the category of imagination and fantasies and that it is a corruption of the imagination since it causes one to depict the one who is loved in other than his true reality. This group went on to say: "And this is why Allaah has not been described with passionate love (ishk) and neither that He passionately loves (ya'shik) because He is far removed from this, and one cannot be praised who has these corrupt thoughts."

As for the first group, then from them are those who said: "He is described with passionate love (ishk) because it is a complete and perfect love and Allaah loves (yuhib)." And it is reported in the narration of `Abdul Waahid bin Zayd that He said, "The servant will always continue to draw closer to me, loving Me and I loving him (A'shiquhoo) ." This is the saying of some of the Soofis but the majority do not apply this word to Allaah, because passionate love is a love exceeding the proper bounds, as for the Love of Allaah then it has no end and cannot exceed the proper bounds. Passionate love is to be considered blameworthy without any exceptions, it is not to be praised when it is directed towards the Creator or created because it is a love that exceeds the proper bounds.

This is also true because the word `passionate love' is only employed with regards to a man loving a woman or child (or vice versa), it is not employed in things such as the love of one's family, property or status, just as it is not employed with regards to the love of the Prophets and the righteous. Commonly, you will find this word being mentioned alongside a forbidden action, such as loving the woman who is not lawful for him, or loving a child joined with the unlawful glance and touch and other such unlawful actions.

As for the love of a man for his wife or slave-girl which leads him out of the folds of justice such that he does unlawful things for her and leaves what is obligatory – as commonly happens – even to the extent that he may oppress his son born of his old wife due to this love of his new wife, or to the extent that he will do things to keep her happy that would harm his religion and worldly life. For example his singling her out for inheritance that she does not deserve, or that he gives her family authority and property that exceeds the limits set by Allaah, or he goes to excesses in spending on her, or he makes unlawful things possible for her which harms his religion and worldly life. This passionate love is forbidden with regards to one who is permissible for him, so how would it be with regards for one who has passionate love for someone who is unlawful or with regards to two men? For this contains a corruption the extent of which none can assess except the Lord of the servants; it is a sickness that corrupts the religion and objectives of the one who possesses it, then it corrupts his intelligence and then his body. Allaah, the Most High, says,

Then do not be soft in speech, lest in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.[3]

There are some whose hearts contain the disease of desire and whose perceptions are only skin deep. When the object of the desire submits, the sickness is satiated, and this satiation strengthens the desire and pursuit of the object and hence strengthens the sickness. This is in contrast to the one whose objective is not met, for this failure results in removing the satiation that would strengthen the sickness and thereby the desire is weakened as is the love. This is because the person definitely intends that there be action accompanying his desire, for otherwise all his desire would be is just whisperings of the soul, unless there is some speech or looking accompanying this.

As for the one who is afflicted with this passionate love but holds back and is patient, then indeed Allaah will reward him for his taqwaa as occurs in the hadeeth: "That the one who passionately loves someone yet holds back, conceals this and is patient, then dies you this, will be a martyr." [4] This hadeeth is known to be the report of Yahya al-Qataat from Mujaahid from Ibn `Abbaas from the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam but it is problematic and such a hadeeth is not to be depended upon.

But it is known from the evidences of the Sharee`ah that if one were to hold back from performing that which is unlawful, be it looking, speaking or acting, and he conceals this and does not articulate it so as not to fall into that which is prohibited and he is patient in his obedience to Allaah and keeping away from disobedience to Allaah, despite the pain that his heart feels due to passionate love, (similar to the case of the one who is patient through a calamity), then indeed this person would gain the same reward as those who have feared Allaah and been patient.

Verily, he who fears Allaah and is patient, then surely Allaah makes not the reward of the doers of good to be lost.[5]

This holds true for the disease of envy and all other sicknesses that afflict the heart. So when the soul pursues that which would anger Allaah, and the person prevents himself from this, fearing Allaah, then he is included in His saying,

But as for him who feared the standing before His Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his abode.[6]

When the soul loves something, it will do all that it can to attain it, so the one who does this out of having a blameworthy love or hatred then this action of his would be sinful. For example his hating a person due to envying him and thereby harming whosoever is linked to that person – either by preventing his rights or by showing them enmity, or his doing something that is commanded by Allaah but he does it due to his desires and not for the sake of Allaah.

These types of sicknesses are commonly found in the heart. The person can hate something and due to this hate, love a great many things due to mere whims and fancies. As one poet affected by this said,

"For the sake of a Sudanese girl he loved Sudan to the point that he loved the black dogs due to his love of her".

So he loved a black girl, and therefore loved all types of black even the blackness of dogs! All of this is a sickness in the heart with regards to its imagination, fantasies and desires. We ask Allaah that
He eliminate all of the illnesses from our hearts, and we seek refuge with Allaah from evil manners, desires and sicknesses.

The heart has only been created for the worship of Allaah, and this is the natural disposition (fitrah) upon which Allaah created His servants as the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said, "Every new-born child is born upon the natural disposition and it is his parents that make him a Jew, Christian or a Magian, as an animal produces a perfect young animal, do you see any part of its body amputated?" Then Aboo Hurayrah, radiyallaahu `anhu, said, recite if you wish the saying of Allaah,

The Fitrah of Allaah with which He has created mankind. No change is there in the creation of Allaah.[7] [Reported by al-Bukhaaree and Muslim].

So Allaah has made the natural disposition of His servants to love Him and worship Him Alone, so if the natural disposition was to be left as it is without corrupting it, then it would be cognizant of Allaah, loving Him Alone; but the natural disposition does become corrupted due to the sickness of the heart – such as the parents making it a Jew or a Christian – even though this be by the Will and Predecree of Allaah, just like the body is altered by amputation. But even after this it is possible for the heart to return to the natural disposition if Allaah makes this easy for the one who does his utmost to return it to the natural disposition.

The Messengers were sent to affirm and re-establish the natural disposition and to perfect it, not to alter it. So when the heart loves Allaah Alone, making the religion sincerely for Him, it will not be tried with this passionate love (directed to him) his love of Allaah Alone, making the religion sincerely for him, did not allow him to be overcome by this, rather Allaah said,

Thus it was, that We might turn away from him evil and illegal sexual intercourse. Surely he was one of Our chosen, guided slaves.[8]

As for the wife of al-`Azeez, it was because she was and her nation were polytheists that she was afflicted with passionate love. No one, and no one is afflicted with passionate love except that this diminishes his singling out Allaah Alone for worship and his faith. The heart that repents to Allaah, fearing Him, has two routes by which it can remove this passionate love:

1) Repenting to Allaah and loving Him, for indeed this is more satisfying and purer than anything else, and nothing will be left to love along side Allaah.

2) Fearing Allaah, for indeed fear is the opposite of passionate love and removes it.

So everyone who loves something, with passion or otherwise, then this love can be removed by loving that which is more beloved to compete with it.[9] This love can also be removed by fearing the occurrence of a harm that is more hateful to one than leaving this love. So when Allaah is more beloved to the servant than anything else, and more feared by him than anything else, then he will not fall into passionate love or find any love that would compete with his love of Allaah, except in the case of negligence or at a time when this love and fear has become weak by his leaving some of the obligatory duties and by performing some of the prohibited actions. For indeed faith increases with obedience and decreases with disobedience, so each time a servant obeys Allaah out of love and fear, and leaves a prohibited action out of love and fear, his love and fear becomes stronger, and any love or fear of anything else besides Allaah will disappear from his heart.

The same is true for the sickness of the body: for the health of the body is preserved by the same, and the sickness is repressed by the opposite. The correctness of the faith in the heart is preserved by its like, meaning that which would breed faith in the heart from the beneficial knowledge and righteous action for these are its nourishment as occurs in the hadeeth of Ibn Mas`ood, reported as his saying and as a hadeeth of the Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, "Indeed every host loves that people come to his table spread, and indeed the table spread of Allaah is the Qur'aan."

So the Qur'aan is the table spread of Allaah.

From those things that nourish the heart are supplication at the end of the night, the times of Adhaan and Iqaamah, in his prostration, at the ends of the prayers[10] – add to this repentance. For indeed the one who repents to Allaah and then in turn Allaah forgives him, He will then give him enjoyment for an appointed time. That he takes to reciting the reported adhkaar for the day and at the time he sleeps. That he bears with patience what he is enticed with that would divert him from all of this, than Allaah will immediately aid him with a spirit from Him and write faith in his heart. That he be eager to complete the obligatory duties such as the five prayers inwardly and outwardly for they are the pillars of the religion. That his words of recourse be `laa hawla wa laa quwwata illaa billaahi'[11] for by them the heavy burdens can be born, horrors can be overcome, and the servant be lifted up the supplication and seeking help from Allaah, for the servant will be answered as long as he is not hasty, saying: "I have supplicated and supplicated but I have not been answered."[12] That he should know that help comes with patience, that relief comes after anxiety and distress, that after every period of difficulty there follows a period a period of ease.[13] That he knows that no prophet or one less than him was rewarded with a good end except as a result of his being patient.

And all praise and thanks are due to Allaah, the Lord of Creation. To Him belongs praise and grace for guiding us to Islaam and the Sunnah, a praise that would suffice His favours to us outwardly and inwardly, as in required for the nobility of His Face and might of His Magnificence. Abundant Peace and Blessings be upon our master, Muhammad sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, and upon his family, Companions, his wives – the mothers of the believers, and all those that follow them in good until the Day of Judgement.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
FOOTNOTES:

[1] A similar hadeeth to this reported by al-Bayhaqee and it is a da`eef hadeeth. (Refer to Fayd al Qadeer).
[2] Wahb ibn Munabbih is a noble taabi`ee, but this hadeeth is reported from him directly to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam and is not authentic.
[3] Soorah al-Ahzaab (33):32.
[4] A da`eef hadeeth. Refer to the discussion concerning its inauthenticity in al-Jawaab al-Kaafee and Rawdah al-Muhibbeen of Ibn al-Qayyim and Silsilah ad-Da`eefah of al-Albaanee.
[5] Soorah Yoosuf (12):90.
[6] Soorah an-Naazi`aat (79):40-41.
[7] Soorah ar-Room (30):30.
[8] Soorah Yoosuf (12):24.
[9] Refer to Rawdah al-Muhibbeen of Ibn al-Qayyim for he has a beautiful discussion concerning this.
[10] These are the times in which Allaah answers the supplications, there are authentic ahaadeeth concerning these.
[11] The Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said, "indeed it is a treasure from the treasures of paradise." Reported by al-Bukhaaree and Muslim from the hadeeth of Aboo Moosa al-Ash`aree.
[12] Reported by Muslim
[13] A hasan hadeeth reported by Ahmad and at-Tirmidhee from the
hadeeth of Ibn `Abbaas

Regarding A Woman Stipulating That Her Husband Not Take Another Wife

2006-12-17T09:47:00.000-05:00

Note: READ CAREFULLY, THOROUGHLY, MORE THAN ONCE AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE THIRD FOOTNOTE!!!

What a Woman may Stipulate in a Marriage Contract
Written By: Imaam Ibn Qudamah al-Maqdisi
Translated By: Yahya Adel Ibrahim From al-Mughni of Ibn Qudamah Vol. 9, Page 483: Issue #1141
Source: islaam.net

He said: "If a man marries her and (accepted) her stipulations that he shall not remove her from her home or city (country), then her stipulation is to be honoured/ fulfilled (from that moment on) due to what has been reported from Rasulullaah (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam). He said: "The most deserving of conditions to be honoured/fulfilled are those which the genitalia are deemed Halal by them (Marriage is built upon their acceptance)."

As well if he marries her and (accepts) her stipulation that he will not marry another woman while with her then she is granted the power to abandon him if he marries another."

The summary of (this issue) is that stipulations relating to Nikaah (pre-nuptiual agreements) are of three main categories.

(Translators note: Only the first issue is translated):

First: (A condition) that which must be fulfilled. It is a condition wherein its benefit and worth are returned. Examples are stipulations wherein he (vows) not to remove her from her residence or land, or that he will not travel with her (to foreign lands), or that he will not take another wife while with her. All of these are conditions that he would be bound to fulfilling (if he agreed to them before cohabitation). If he does not honour the stipulations she is granted the ability (and right) to annul the marriage (at her will). This is reported as being the opinion of:

‘Umar bin al-Khattab, Sa‘d bin Abi Waqas, Mu‘awiyah, ‘Amr bin al- ‘Aas (radia Allahu ‘Anhum). It was also stated by:

Shurayh, ‘Umar bin ‘Abdul-Aziz, Jabir bin Zayd, Tawus, Al-Awza‘i and Ishaq."

Those who deemed these conditions unacceptable were:

az-Zuhari, Qatadah, Hisham bin ‘Urwa, Malik [1], al-Laith, ath-Thawri, ash-Shafi‘i (in part), ibn al-Mundhir, and the people of logical deduction and inference.

Abu Hanifah and ash-Shafi‘ee stated: "If he breaks one of the aforementioned conditions she is not entitled to leaving him. The original dowry (Mahr) is deemed invalid and she deserves another equal Mahr to what she has already been given (by her husband)."

They use as their proof the statement of Rasulullah (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam):

"Any condition, which is not in Allaah’s Book, is worthless (invalid). Even if there are a hundred conditions. Allaah’s decision is more valid and Allaah’s condition is more binding." (Agreed upon)

(They say) such a condition is (not sanctioned) in Allaah’s Book since the Law does not espouse it.

He (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) also said, "Muslims are bound to their conditions/stipulations. (But) a condition that makes Halaal a Haraam or a Haraam Halaal is (not from binding conditions)." (Bukhari, Tirmidhi and others)

This (type of condition) is turning a Halaal into a Haraam. Taking more than wife and traveling (are Halaal). As well, these conditions do not benefit or improve the ‘Aqd (marital pre-nuptial contract) and are not integral to it. In fact it would be similar to stipulating that she is not to present her self (ever) to him (in copulation)."

End words of Shafi‘ee and Abu Hanifah

For us (our understanding) we have the following (evidence):

"The most deserving of conditions to be honoured/fulfilled are those which the genitalia are deemed Halaal by them (Marriage is built upon their acceptance)."
Agreed Upon.

As well his statement (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam): "Muslims are bound to their conditions/stipulations." (Previously referenced)

As well we have named many Sahaba who validated these stipulations, and none from their generation/peers refuted them. Therefore we establish this as being Ijma‘ (consensual agreement by them all).

It is narrated by al-Athram with his chain of narration that a man married a woman and (agreed to the stipulation) that she may reside in her (own) home. Thereafter he sought to transfer her elsewhere. They turned to ‘Umar (Radee Allahu 'anhuu) in disputation.

He (Radee Allahu 'anhuu) said, "Her condition is to be fulfilled."

The man replied, "If that is the case then she is to grant the divorce (he means that she is to relinquish her condition or divorce him)."

‘Umar (radee Allahu 'anhuu) replied, "The absolute rights are (established with their) stipulations (His right is over-ruled by his agreement to her stipulation)." [2]

This (as well as the other mentioned stipulations are) valid because there is only benefit found in it (i.e. it does not call to deviance) and it is not intended to depreciate or tarnish what is established by Nikaah. Therefore fulfilling the condition is obligatory. (These types of stipulations) are the same as if she stipulated that he increase her Mahr (from his initial offer) or not take her abroad.

As for the Prophet's (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) statement: "Any condition, which is not in Allaah’s Book, is worthless (invalid)."

This is regarding a condition that is not founded upon Allaah’s Hukm and Sharee'ah. These (conditions) are substantiated in Sharee'ah. We have shown precedence for it. Those who seek to oppose this (valid opinion) must bring forth (explicit) evidence that renders the aforementioned evidence nullified.

As for their (Shafi‘i and Abu Haneefah) statement: that these stipulations make a Halaal Haraam, then we say that they do not make the Halaal into Haraam.

It merely ensures the right of a woman to decide for herself if she wishes to remain in that situation or not considering that he has not fulfilled his pre-marital agreement.[3]

As for their statement: That there is no benefit or improvement in these stipulations.

We say that we object to this understanding. These (stipulations) are very beneficial for the woman. The benefit of the stipulator is beneficial as well for the one being stipulated to (since the man knows what is acceptable and what is not).

Fasl (Side point):

If she was to stipulate that he was to divorce his other wife then that condition would be deemed invalid and unacceptable.

Abu Huraira (radee Allahu 'anhuu) reports: "An-Nabi (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) forbade a woman from making it a condition for her husband to divorce her sister (his other wife)." (Reported by al-Bukhari)

Footnotes:

Verification of Athar:

[1] The Madh’hab of Malik validates a stipulation upon a man in which it is stipulated that he is not to marry another women while in marriage with the first (wife) or else she will be given the order (power) in her hand (to annul the marriage). She would be given the power to separate from him at her choice. This position of Malik is similar in meaning to the position of al-Imaam Ahmed. (Fatawa of Ibn Taymiyyah 32nd Volume, Page 164-165)

[2] Reported by Ibn Abi Shaybah in his Musaanaf (Vol. 4 pages 199). As well it is found in the Sunnan of Sa‘eed bin Mansour (Vo1. 1, Pg. 185)

[3] It is important to note that the second wife is legal for the man to wed. The issue is whether the first wife wants to remain in that situation or not. Many people mistakenly think that this stipulation makes it illegal for the husband to take the second or third wife. That is not the case at all. It is merely to ensure that the first wife is able to leave the marital relationship if she cannot deal with the new situation.

Mizazeez Note: You know subhanAllah, this whole explanation is really actually in some ways a beautiful reconciliation between the two different opinions. for while it supports a woman being able to stipulate that her potential husband not take another wife while being married to her, it also makes clear that her stipulating this does not "prevent" him from practicing something Halal (polygyny), but rather it allows the woman to stay or leave if he chooses to do so. so basically, both the man and the woman's rights are being addressed and safeguarded. masha'Allah, i love the Salaf. they were so on it. may Allah reward them. Ameen.

Some Insight from the Narration of the Slander of A'isha

2006-12-16T21:38:00.000-05:00

Narrated A'isha:

When there was said about me what was said which I myself was unaware of, Allah's Apostle got up and addressed the people. He recited Tashah-hud, and after glorifying and praising Allah as He deserved, he said:

"To proceed: O people Give me your opinion regarding those people who made a forged story against my wife. By Allah, I do not know anything bad about her. By Allah, they accused her of being with a man about whom I have never known anything bad, and he never entered my house unless I was present there, and whenever I went on a journey, he went with me."

Sad bin Mu'adh got up and said, "O Allah's Apostle Allow me to chop their heads off" Then a man from the Al-Khazraj (Sa'd bin 'Ubada) to whom the mother of (the poet) Hassan bin Thabit was a relative, got up and said (to Sad bin Mu'adh), "You have told a lie! By Allah, if those persons were from the Aus Tribe, you would not like to chop their heads off." It was probable that some evil would take place between the Aus and the Khazraj in the masjid, and I was unaware of all that.

In the evening of that day, I went out for some of my needs (i.e. to relieve myself), and Um Mistah was accompanying me. On our return, Um Mistah stumbled and said, "Let Mistah be ruined." I said to her, "O mother, why do you abuse your son." On that Um Mistah became silent for awhile, and stumbling again, she said, "Let Mistah be ruined." I said to her, "Why do you abuse your son?" She stumbled for the third time and said, "Let Mistah be ruined," whereupon I rebuked her for that. She said, "By Allah, I do not abuse him except because of you." I asked her, "Concerning what of my affairs?" So she disclosed the whole story to me. I said, "Has this really happened?" She replied, "Yes, by Allah."

I returned to my house, astonished (and distressed) that I did not know for what purpose I had gone out. Then I became sick (with fever) and said to Allah's Apostle, "Send me to my father's house." So he sent a slave with me, and when I entered the house, I found Um Rum-an (my mother) downstairs while (my father) Abu Bakr was reciting something upstairs. My mother asked, "What has brought you, O (my) daughter?" I informed her and mentioned to her the whole story, but she did not feel it as I did. She said:

"O my daughter! Take it easy, for there is never a charming lady loved by her husband who has other wives but that they feel jealous of her and speak badly of her."

But she did not feel the news as I did. I asked (her), "Does my father know about it?" She said, "Yes." I asked, "Does Allah's Apostle know about it too?" She said, "Yes, Allah's Apostle does too." So the tears filled my eyes and I wept. Abu Bakr, who was reading upstairs heard my voice and came down and asked my mother, "What is the matter with her? " She said, "She has heard what has been said about her (as regards the story of Al-lfk)." On that Abu- Bakr wept and said, "I beseech you by Allah, O my daughter, to go back to your home."

I went back to my home and Allah's Apostle had come to my house and asked my maid-servant about me (my character). The maid-servant said, "By Allah, I do not know of any defect in her character except that she sleeps and lets the sheep enter (her house) and eat her dough." On that, some of the Prophet's companions spoke harshly to her and said, "Tell the truth to Allah's Apostle." Finally they told her of the affair (of the slander). She said, "Subhan Allah! By Allah, I know nothing against her except what goldsmith knows about a piece of pure gold." Then this news reached the man who was accused, and he said, "Subhan Allah! By Allah, I have never uncovered the private parts of any woman." Later that man was martyred in Allah's Cause.

Next morning my parents came to pay me a visit and they stayed with me until Allah's Apostle came to me after he had offered the 'Asr prayer. He came to me while my parents were sitting around me on my right and my left. He praised and glorified Allah and said, "Now then O 'Aisha! If you have committed a bad deed or you have wronged (yourself), then repent to Allah as Allah accepts the repentance from his slaves."

An Ansari woman had come and was sitting near the gate. I said (to the Prophet), "Isn't it improper that you speak in such a way in the presence of this lady?" Allah's Apostle then gave a piece of advice and I turned to my father and requested him to answer him (on my behalf). My father said, "What should I say?" Then I turned to my mother and asked her to answer him. She said, "What should I say?"

When my parents did not give a reply to the Prophet, I said, "I testify that none has the right to be worshipped except Allah, and that Muhammad is His Apostle!" And after praising and glorifying Allah as He deserves, I said, "Now then, by Allah, if I were to tell you that I have not done (this evil action) and Allah is a witness that I am telling the truth, that would not be of any use to me on your part because you (people) have spoken about it and your hearts have absorbed it; and if I were to tell you that I have done this sin and Allah knows that I have not done it, then you will say, 'She has confessed herself guilty.' By Allah, I do not see a suitable example for me and you but the example of (I tried to remember Yaquub's name but couldn't) Yusuf's father when he said, 'So (for me) patience is most fitting against that which you assert. It is Allah (alone) whose help can be sought.'

At that very hour the Divine Inspiration came to Allah's Apostle and we remained silent. Then the Inspiration was over and I noticed the signs of happiness on his face while he was removing (the sweat) from his forehead and saying, "Have the good tidings O 'Aisha! Allah has revealed your innocence." At that time I was extremely angry. My parents said to me, "Get up and go to him." I said, "By Allah, I will not do it and will not thank him nor thank either of you, but I will thank Allah Who has revealed my innocence. You have heard this story but neither did not deny it nor change it (to defend me)."

A'isha further said: "Allah's Apostle also asked Zainab bint Jahsh (i.e. his wife) about my case. He said to Zainab, 'What do you know and what did you see?' She replied, 'O Allah's Apostle! I refrain from claiming falsely that I have heard or seen anything. By Allah, I know nothing except good (about A'isha).'

From amongst the wives of the Prophet Zainab was my peer (in beauty and in the love she received from the Prophet) but Allah saved her from that evil because of her piety.

~Saheeh al-Bukhari, Kitaab at-Tafseer, Hadeeth No. 4429

Expressions of Jealousy and Persistent Requests for Equality

2006-12-16T21:21:00.000-05:00

Narrated 'Urwa from A'isha:

The wives of Allah's Apostle were in two groups. One group consisted of A'isha, Hafsa, Safiyyah and Sawda; and the other group consisted of Umm Salamah and the other wives of Allah's Apostle.

The Muslims knew that Allah's Apostle loved A'isha, so if any of them had a gift and wished to give it to Allah's Apostle, he would delay it, until Allah's Apostle had come to A'isha's home and then he would send his gift to Allah's Apostle in her home.

The group of Umm Salamah discussed the matter together and decided that Umm Salamah should request Allah's Apostle to tell the people to send their gifts to him in whatever wife's house he was. Umm Salamah told Allah's Apostle of what they had said, but he did not reply. Then they (those wives) asked Umm Salamah about it. She said, "He did not say anything to me." They asked her to talk to him again. She talked to him again when she met him on her day, but he gave no reply. When they asked her, she replied that he had given no reply. They said to her, "Talk to him until he gives you a reply." When it was her turn, she talked to him again. He then said to her,

"Do not hurt me regarding A'isha, as the Divine Inspirations do not come to me on any of the beds except that of A'isha."

On that Umm Salamah said, "I repent to Allah for hurting you."

Then the group of Umm Salamah called Fatima, the daughter of Allah's Apostle and sent her to Allah's Apostle to say to him,

"Your wives request to treat them and the daughter of Abu Bakr on equal terms."

Then Fatima conveyed the message to him. The Prophet said, "O my daughter! Don't you love whom I love?" She replied in the affirmative and returned and told them of the situation. They requested her to go to him again but she refused.

They then sent Zaynab bint Jahsh who went to him and used harsh words saying, "Your wives request you to treat them and the daughter of Ibn Abu Quhafa on equal terms." On that she raised her voice and abused A'isha to her face so much so that Allah's Apostle looked at A'isha to see whether she would retort. A'isha started replying to Zaynab till she silenced her. The Prophet then looked at A'isha and said, "She is really the daughter of Abu Bakr."

~Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Book of Gifts, Hadeeth No. 2417

Don't Shoot the Messenger

2006-12-15T21:09:00.000-05:00

زُيِّنَ لِلنَّاسِ حُبُّ الشَّهَوَاتِ مِنَ النِّسَاء وَالْبَنِينَ وَالْقَنَاطِيرِ الْمُقَنطَرَةِ مِنَ الذَّهَبِ وَالْفِضَّةِ وَالْخَيْلِ الْمُسَوَّمَةِ وَالأَنْعَامِ وَالْحَرْثِ ذَلِكَ مَتَاعُ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا وَاللّهُ عِندَهُ حُسْنُ الْمَآبِ

Beautified for men is the love of things they covet; women, children, much of gold and silver (wealth), branded beautiful horses, cattle and well-tilled land. This is the pleasure of the present world's life; but Allâh has the excellent return (Paradise with flowing rivers, etc.) with Him. (Aali Imran 3:14)

Tafseer Ibn Katheer:

The True Value of This Earthly Life

Allah mentions the delights that He put in this life for people, such as women and children, and He started with women, because the test with them is more tempting. For instance, the Sahih recorded that the Messenger said,

«مَا تَرَكْتُ بَعْدِي فِتْنَةً أَضَرَّ عَلَى الرِّجَالِ مِنَ النِّسَاء»
(I did not leave behind me a test more tempting to men than women.){1}

When one enjoys women for the purpose of having children and preserving his chastity, then he is encouraged to do so. There are many Hadiths that encourage getting married, such as,

«وَإِنَّ خَيْرَ هذِهِ الْأُمَّةِ مَنْ كَانَ أَكْثَرَهَا نِسَاء»
(Verily, the best members of this Ummah are those who have the most wives){2} He also said,

«الدُّنْيَا مَتَاعٌ، وَخَيْرُ مَتَاعِهَا الْمَرْأَةُ الصَّالِحَة»
(This life is a delight, and the best of its delight is a righteous wife){3}

The Prophet said in another Hadith,

«حُبِّبَ إِلَيَّ النِّسَاءُ وَالطِّيبُ، وَجُعِلَتْ قُرَّةُ عَيْنِي فِي الصَّلَاة»
(I was made to like women and perfume, and the comfort of my eye is the prayer.){4)

`A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said, "Nothing was more beloved to the Messenger of Allah than women, except horses,'' and in another narration, "...than horses except women.''{5)

Footnotes:

1. Fath Al-Baari 9:41
2. Fath Al-Baari 9:15. That is, a maximum of four at the same time.
3. Muslim 2:1090
4. An-Nasaa'ee in Al-Kubraa 5:280
5. An-Nasee'ee 6:217, 7:61

Fatwa-Kick

2006-12-15T08:53:00.000-05:00

yeah yeah, i know i've been on a fatwa-kick as of late, pushing those "scholarly edicts," in the words of one of my fellow sister bloggers (she knows who she is *wink wink*). i guess a lot of issues have been arising on the blog world and my fatwa-kick is an indirect response to these issues as i'm sure many people are asking the same questions and having the same concerns. soooo...chew 'em up and digest 'em.

Advising One's Husband

2006-12-15T08:48:00.000-05:00

Question: If a woman advised her husband who is lazy with respect to performing the prayers in the mosque and she shows her anger towards him, is she being sinful because of his greater right over her?

Response: There is no sin upon a woman if she advises her husband when he performs something that Allaah has forbidden, such as being lazy with respect to performing the prayer with the congregation, drinking alcohol or having entertainment during the night. In fact, she will be rewarded. The advice should be in a good and kind way. In this way, it will more likely be accepted and benefited from.

Shaykh Ibn Baaz
Fataawa al-Mar.ah
www.fatwa-online.com

Ahadeeth Regarding Obedience to One's Husband In That Which is Good

2006-12-15T08:32:00.000-05:00

Ibn Hibbaan narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: "The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said: If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’”

Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 660.

Ibn Maajah (1853) narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Awfa said: "When Mu’aadh came from Syria, he prostrated to the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) who said, 'What is this, O Mu'aadh?' He said, 'I went to Syria and saw them prostrating to their archbishops and patriarchs, and I wanted to do that for you.' The Messenger of Allaah (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said, 'Do not do that. If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allaah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allaah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.'”

Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.

Ahmad (19025) and al-Haakim narrated from al-Husayn ibn Muhsin that his paternal aunt came to the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) for something and he dealt with her need, then the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said: “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.” He said: “How are you with him?” She said, “I do not neglect any of his rights except those I am unable to fulfil.” He said: “Look at how you are with him, for he is your paradise and your hell” – i.e., he is the cause of you entering Paradise if you fulfil his rights and the cause of your entering Hell if you fall short in that.

Al-Mundhiri classed the isnaad of this hadeeth as jayyid in al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb; it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, no. 1933.

Women Who Discuss Private Marital Matters With Others

2006-12-15T07:41:00.000-05:00

*Please appropriately reference this fatwa to: www.fatwa-online.com, thankyou!*

Question: There are some women who are overcome (with the urge) to talk about goings on at home and their (private) life with their husbands to their relatives and friends. Some of this talk is about private matters which the husband would not want anyone to know about. So what is the ruling regarding the women who reveal private matters outside of the home or to some of those within the home?

Response: That which some women do in talking about goings on at home and married life to their relatives and friends is haraam, and it is not permissible for a woman to reveal private matters of her home or how things are with her husband to anyone! Allaah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) said:

{Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allaah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allaah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.)}, [Soorah an-Nisaa., Aayah 34].

And the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said:

"The worst of the people in (the Sight of) Allaah on the Day of Resurrection is the man who discloses (secrets) to his wife and she discloses (secrets) to him and then he reveals her secrets (to others)." [Transmitted by Muslim - Volume 2, Number 1020, Abu Daawood - Number 4870; with the chain: ‘Abdur-Rahmaan ibn Sa’d on the authority of Sa’eed al-Khudree]

Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen
Fataawa Muhimmah li-Nisaa. al-Ummah - Page 157
Fataawa Islaamiyyah - Volume 3, Page 211

The Ruling on Marriage Sites That Allow the Exchange of Personal Information and the Like

2006-12-14T16:40:00.000-05:00

Question: There are many matrimonial websites that allow men and women to have live and private chats. They can exchange email, addresses, phone numbers and even pictures. Many of the women even describe their bodies. There are muslim men who use the excuse that they are entitled to more than one wife, and they use a lot of their spare time on these sites and as a result, they break up their households. Among those are those who lose interest in their present wives. Some will also get angry when their wives find out what they are doing , then threaten them with divorce and they even physically abuse them.Please advise us in this matter, May Allah bless you.

Answer: I say that this is a great calamity. Indeed this is a wicked act. It is an evil that comes from this technology (the internet) . What is mentioned in this question is not permissable for the men to be looking at these websites and the likes of this. As for a person who says that he is using these sites so he can get married, if he wants to get married, indeed the Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam has guided us on how a person should go and choose a wife. That he should look at her and find what encourages him to marry her in a legislated way. Not following his desires. No doubt that the way the people use the internet to look at women like this, it is something that is not permissable. This way is haraam. It is made unlawful by the legislation, so therefore stay away from it.

What is a permissable way for a man to look at a woman is supported by the text. For example he should look at her hands and her face.if she agrees to that. And also he may look at her while she's walking without her knowing that he's looking at her. Perhaps if she's walking on the street, and hes standing in one spot, he may look at her and the likes of this. But as for the people looking at these websites on the internet, then it is not only impermissable but it brings a lot of evil impact. Because it is not just the look, it may lead to conversation, because the questioner states that they may exchange emails and phone numbers and they may start talking. And this may lead them to speech that is not right for them wa 'authoobila they may fall into adultery and fornication. This is just from their speech, but what about those who exchange pictures and addresses through the internet. This is a great calamity and affliction. A person should stay away from it, because it can lead the one who sees these pictures of the women, it will make him dislike his wife and have desires to be with those women on the internet. Allah subhana wa ta'alaa has ordered the believers to lower their gazes. Allah says :

قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ذَلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ

"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allâh is All-Aware of what they do."[An-Nur 24:30]

The point in preference here is that this act is not permissable. It is incumbent upon the muslim to fear his lord and he should not look at what is impermissable for him to look at. The Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam was asked about the second look. If a person didn't have any desire to look, the Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam said "If this happened then you need to turn your eyes from that." So for example if a woman comes out and some parts of her are exposed (accidentally) and a person didnt desire to look, but he looked the first time, then the first is ok, but the second will be counted against him.

So if this is the case, what about those who sit in front of the internet and chat with these women who it's not permissable to talk to? Sending pictures and exchanging pictures, what will they say to Allah subhana wa ta'alaa on yawm al qiyamah? Again this is not permissable. It is an unlawful act. It is wicked and horrendous and a despicable act that destroys households. It seperates the spouses. And this is enough that this evil here destroys the households, that it is sufficient for it to be labeled as an evil and despicable act. So it is incumbent on every muslim who is listening, or to whom this message reaches to fear Allah subhana wa ta'alaa, and to stay away from those websites and chatrooms because this isn't permissable.

Q & A Sheykh Muhammad ibn Hadee al Madkhaalee -hafidthuallah
November 26, 2006
Translated by Abu Muhammad al Maghrebee
Telelink - Masjid Rahmah

niqab and the burqa: from exotic to extreme

2006-12-11T08:44:00.000-05:00

inspired by one of my fellow sister bloggers icons, a black-and-white sketching of a woman clad from head-to-toe in the traditional afghani burqa with no trace of facial or bodily features, i too wanted something similar to identify me on the blogosphere. i began my icon search by typing in the word "niqab" in the Google Image search engine. the majority of the image results were close-up shots of the eyes of muslimaat peering through mostly black niqabs. as these images did not meet the quality of COMPLETE concealment that i was looking for, i decided to modify my search by exchanging the word "niqab" with the word "burqa." the first image: Lil' Kim, a very lewd female rapper on the cover of One World magazine, her eyes gazing out of a burgundy burqa which just barely covers her neckline, her breasts on downward completely exposed save for a matching skimpy burgundy string bikini. as i perused through the rest of the images it became clear to me that if by modifying my search i was looking for something more discrete, i was mistaken. sure, there were many images of Muslim women covered in the traditional burqa, however, peppered amidst these images were other images of mostly white European women donning some semblance of the burqa as if donning some sexy piece of lingerie. although the Lil' Kim image definitely took the cake in the "burqa as exotic" category, there were two others that were close matches. one was a series of six digressional images showing the transformation of a woman in burqa to an image of britney spears. as the images neared the one of britney spears the burqa's conciliatory effect became less and less apparant. the other image was actually a part of a series called "The Burka Project," which is a series of photos taken by reknowned pornographic/erotic photographers of white European models posing in the burqa in various locales throughout Paris and Vienna.

while this paradox should have shocked me, it didn't. instead i was reminded of a "Third World Documentary" course i took in college in which we read an essay written by an Algerian revolutionary during the Algerian Revolution against France. The Algerian revolutionary dedicates an entire section of his essay to the symblolic nature of Muslim women's complete covering, how the burqa-like garb that was worn by many of the Algerian women during the time of the war became affiliated with revolution because of its strategic use in the war. Algerian women would participate in the Algerian resistance by transporting guns to the revolutionaries, easily maneuvering through city streets unnoticed while they concealed weaponry underneath their flowing garments. Women were also used as secret messengers, again being able to utlize their invisibility in the public sphere. When the French eventually figured out this otherwise secret tactic of the Algerian revolutionaries, the women's conciliatory garb, which was once viewed as a mark of innocence and served to render women invisible, now became branded with the mark of revolutionary resistance.

in addition, the author of the essay speaks about the whole orientalist "Muslim/Eastern woman as exotic" prototype and how this view, while it was perpetuated by European men, was reviled by European women. European men found the secretive, modest, timidity of the Muslim woman to be exotic and seductive. Indeed if you read many journals and novels of the past you will find stories of the "Eastern woman" clad in her flowing gown with nothing of her body or face to be seen except for maybe a hand or foot intriguing some male European character/explorer, tempting him with the unseen, luring him into some alley or harem where he is amazed to find hordes of women just like her ready to satisfy his every need. in the essay of the Algerian revolutionary he talks about how this obsession with the "Eastern woman as exotic" threatened the white European woman because in essence the Eastern woman was everything she was not. back in the day, the women of the West were basically stripped of any sexuality or sensuality. this was coupled with the whole Christian doctrine of "sex is for reproduction not for pleasure." in addition to being threatened by this perceived exoticism of the Eastern woman, the author of the essay talks about how European women were threatened by the Muslim woman's concealment of her body because her reasoning for doing so defied the emerging notions of Western feminism that attached liberation and freedom to the baring of bodily parts. for the Algerian Muslim woman, her liberation and freedom was tied to her bodily concealment, the exact opposite of her Western peers.

with the more recent spotlight on niqab and a Muslim woman's complete covering being seen as "extreme" and a "threat to assimilation" and things like this, it's interesting that the same countries that have perpetuated this notion are also the very ones who concocted the notion of the Muslim woman as exotic based around the very garb that they are now deeming "extreme" and a "threat." it is in these same countries that you find a whole segment of the pornographic industry dedicated to the "Muslim woman as fantasy." of course that fantasy, while it is based on the perceived allure of the completely covered Muslimah, is not complete without the Muslim woman ultimately shedding her conciliatory garb. ahhh, the paradox!!!

Adultery In Islam vs. In the Judeo-Christian Tradition

2006-12-01T21:09:00.000-05:00

in my research on the topic of polygamy in the Judeo-Christian tradition, in particular looking at the historical development of the criminalization and demoralization of polygamy by the Christian church, I came across a book entitled "The History and Philosophy of Marriage" written in 1869 by a Christian philanthropist. in the book, the author compares polygamy to monogamy through the lens of Bliblical texts with the ultimate goal of proving that polygamy is the true foundation of marriage according to the sciptural foundations of Christianity and that making marriage exclusive to monogamy has many negative social repercussions, while if polygamy is allowed, it would provide a remedy to many of the social ills plaguing society. it was while reading this treatise that i came across the following passage regarding adultery in the Bliblical tradition:

"According to the system of polygamy, if any man has intercourse with another's man's wife, they are both guilty of adultery; but if any man has intercourse with an unmarried woman, then both are guilty of fornication. That is, it is the married or unmarried state of the woman, and not of the man, that determines the nature of the crime."

i investigated this further, in particular how this differs with the Islamic tradition, and i came across the following:

Adultery is considered a sin in all religions. The Bible decrees the death sentence for both the adulterer and the adulteress (Lev. 20:10) . Islam also equally punishes both the adulterer and the adulteress (Quran 24:2). However, the Quranic definition of adultery is very different from the Biblical definition. Adultery, according to the Quran, is the involvement of a married man or a married woman in an extramarital affair. The Bible only considers the extramarital affair of a married woman as adultery (Leviticus 20:10, Deuteronomy 22:22, Proverbs 6:20-7:27).

"If a man is found sleeping with another man's wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel." (Deut. 22:22)

"If a man commits adultery with another man's wife both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death." (Lev. 20:10)

According to the Biblical definition, if a married man sleeps with an unmarried woman, this is not considered a crime at all. The married man who has extramarital affairs with unmarried women is not an adulterer and the unmarried women involved with him are not adulteresses. The crime of adultery is committed only when a man, whether married or single, sleeps with a married woman. In this case the man is considered adulterer, even if he is not married, and the woman is considered adulteress. In short, adultery is any illicit sexual intercourse involving a married woman. The extramarital affair of a married man is not per se a crime in the Bible. Why is the dual moral standard? According to Encyclopaedia Judaica, the wife was considered to be the husband's possession and adultery constituted a violation of the husband's exclusive right to her; the wife as the husband's possession had no such right to him. That is, if a man had sexual intercourse with a married woman, he would be violating the property of another man and, thus, he should be punished.

To the present day in Israel, if a married man indulges in an extramarital affair with an unmarried woman, his children by that woman are considered legitimate. But, if a married woman has an affair with another man, whether married or not married, her children by that man are not only illegitimate but they are considered bastards and are forbidden to marry any other Jews except converts and other bastards. This ban is handed down to the children's descendants for 10 generations until the taint of adultery is presumably weakened.

The Quran, on the other hand, never considers any woman to be the possession of any man. The Quran eloquently describes the relationship between the spouses by saying:

"And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Quran 30:21)

This is the Quranic conception of marriage: love, mercy, and tranquillity, not possession and double standards.

Taken from "Women in Islam Versus Women in the Judaeo-Christian Tradition: The Myth and The Reality" by Sherif Abdel Azim, Ph.D.- Queens University, Kingston, Ontario, Canada

Guarding the Tongue

2006-11-28T19:57:00.000-05:00

there is an excellent e-book about the rulings and limits of backbiting, slander and gossip in Islam entitled "Hifdh-ul-Lisaan" [Guarding the Tongue] written by Imam An-Nawawee hafidhullah from his larger book "Al-Adhkaar" [Words of Remembrance].
the e-book is published by Al-Ibaanah Book Publishing walhamdulillah. i wanted to share with you all some excerpts from the book as a compliment to my last post. insha'Allah i pray that everything that i post on my blog is of some benefit to those who read it. to proceed:

********

Allaah the Most High says:

"Not a word does one utter, except that there is an (angel) watching, ready to record it." (Surah Qaaf: 18)

And He says:

"Verily, your Lord is Ever-Watchful." (Surat Al-Fajr: 14)

Know that every individual who falls under the category of being responsible for his actions (mukallaf) must guard his tongue from all types of speech, except for that speech which consists predominantly of some benefit. So in a situation where speaking and refraining from speech are both found to contain the same amount of benefit within them, then the Sunnah is to refrain from it altogether. This is because the allowable speech (equal in benefit and harm) paves the way towards that which is forbidden as well as disliked. Rather, in most cases, this will be the result, and applying safety at that point will not be able to soothe it in the least.

Abu Hurairah radee Allahu 'anhuu reported that the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day should speak good or remain silent." (Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree, 11/308 and Muslim, 47)

As for Backbiting (gheebah), then it when you mention something about a person (in his absence), that he hates (to have mentioned), whether it is about: His body, his religious characteristics, his worldly affairs, his self, his physical appearance, his character, his wealth, his child, his father, his wife, his servant, his slave, his turban, his attire, his manner of walking, his smile, his dissoluteness, his frowning, his cheerfulness or anything else related to the above. Likewise, it is the same whether you mention that about him with words, through writings, or whether you point ot indicate that by gesturing with your eyes, hand or head.

As for Gossiping (nameemah), then it is when one conveys and carries the talk of people from one group of individuals to another with the intent of causing discord between the two of them.

These are the definitions of the two. As for their rulings, then they are forbidden according to the unanimous agreement of the Muslim scholars. The clear evidences in the Qur'aan, the Sunnah and the consensus of the ummah indicate its prohibition. Allaah says:

"And do not backbite one another." (Surah Al-Hujuraat:12)

And He says:

"Woe to every slanderer and backbiter." (Surah Al-Humazah:1)

Abu Hurairah radee Allahu 'anhuu reported that Allaah's Messenger sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam once said (to his Companions): "Do you know what backbiting is?" They said: "Allaah and His Messenger know best." He said: "Your mentioning something about your brother (in his absence) that which he hates (to have mentioned)." It was said: "What if there exists in my brother that which I say (of him)?" He sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "If there is found in him what you say, then you have backbitten him. And if there is not found in him what you say, then you have slandered him." (Saheeh Muslim, 2589)

It's Guidelines: Everything by which one causes others to understand the deficiencies found in a Muslim, then that is considered the backbiting that is forbidden...Backbiting is only when one mentions a specified individual or a specific group of people (whether by name or insinuation).

Also from the forbidden types of backbiting is:

When one says: "Some of the people did such and such" or "some of the scholars" or "some who claim to have knowledge" or "some of the muftees" or "some who attribute themselves to rectifying (the ummah)" or "who claim abstinence" or "some people who passed by us today" or "some people that we saw" or "similar to this "...did such and such", without specifying anyone, but yet the one being spoken to realizes who the individuals are specifically, due to the speaker's causing him to understand who they are (through his words).

From the section "What Types of Backbiting Is Permissible?":

Seeking a fatwa (religious ruling) - One should do this by saying to the muftee (scholar capable of issuing a fatwa): "My father" or "my brother" or "such and such person wronged me in this way." "Does he have the right to do so?" "How shall I go about putting an end to it and obtain my right while repelling oppression from myself?" and so on. Likewise, one may say: "My wife did such and such to me" or "my husband did such and such a thing" and so on. This is permissible due to the necessity for it, however, to be more cautious it is better for one to say: "What do you say about a man who has done such and such thing?" or "concerning a husband" or "concerning a wife who did such and such" (without saying "my"), etc.

From the section "The Backbiting of the Heart"

Allaah says:

"O you who believe, avoid much (types) of suspicion. Verily some (forms) of suspicion is a sin." (Surah Al-Hujuraat:12)

And Abu Hurairah radee Allahu 'anhuu reported that Allaah's Messenger sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "Beware of suspicion, for indeed suspicion is the most untruthful form of speech." (Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree, 10/484 and Muslim, 2563)

What the backbiting of the heart means, is: When the heart has firm conviction and holds bad thoughts about someone. But as for the notions that occasionally display in one's mind or when one talks to himself, then as long as these thoughts do not remain established and continuous in him, it is excused according to the consensus of the scholars. This is since he has no choice in the matter as to stop it from occurring nor can he find any way to liberate himself from it when it does occur. This is the understanding of what has been authentically established (in the texts).

The Messenger of Allaah sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "Indeed, Allaah has permitted for my ummah that which their souls whisper to them, so long as they do not speak it out (audibly) or act upon it." (Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree, 5/160 and Muslim, 127 & 202)

The scholars say: "This refers to the notions that form in one's mind, but do not become settled or established."

And whenever you come to know of a defect or a mistake in another Muslim based on some proofs, which cannot be denied, then advise him in privacy and do not let the Devil deceive you such that he invites you and leads you towards backbiting him. And when you admonish him, then do not admonish him while you are happy and pleased that you have knowledge of his deficiency. So it is as if he is looking at you with the eyes of awe and respect while you are looking down at him with condescending eyes. Rather, make your intention in that to free him from this sin, while you are distressed over him, just as you are distressed when some deficiency enters in you. And his getting rid of that deficiency without you having to admonish him (i.e. on his own) should be more bloved to you than him having to rid himself of it due to your admonishing.

And lastly, from the section "Expiating Onself and Repenting From Backbiting":

Know that it is required upon everyone that commits a sin to rush towards repenting from it. Repentance with regard to the rights of Allaah must meet three conditions:

1. One must stop committing that sin immediately,
2. He must feel remorse and sorrow for having done it, and
3. He must resolve to not return to committing that sin again.

Repentance with regard to the rights of humans must meet these same three conditions (listed above), as well as a fourth one, which is:

4. Taking back any oppression that was inflicted on someone or asking for his forgiveness or absolvment from that.

So it is obligatory on a person who has committed backbiting to seek repentance according to these four conditions, because backbiting involves the rights of people, so he must seek the forgiveness of the person he has backbitten.

Is it sufficient for one to just say: "I have backbit you, so please absolve me from (this) sin" or must he inform him also of what he said about him?

(The strongest opinion is that) his clarifying what he said (when backbiting) is a condition. So if he is absolved without informing him of what he said, the pardon is not valid, just as if he were to absolve him from (stealing) unidentiable money.

Know that it is preferable for the one who has been backbitten to absolve the backbiter from his sin, but it is not an obligation on him to do so. This is because it is giving away and forfeiting one's right, so the choice is his. However, it is strongly recommended (muta'akkidah) for him to absolve him so that his Muslim brother can be free from the harm of this sin and so that he can be successful in receiving Allaah's great reward of Forgiveness and Love. Allaah, the Most High, says:

"Those who repress their anger and pardon people. Verily, Allaah loves the good doers." (Surah Aal 'Imraan: 134)

another view

2006-10-17T19:29:00.000-04:00

Polygamy laws expose our own hypocrisy
By Jonathan Turley

Tom Green is an American polygamist. This month, he will appeal his conviction in Utah for that offense to the United States Supreme Court, in a case that could redefine the limits of marriage, privacy and religious freedom.

If the court agrees to take the case, it would be forced to confront a 126-year-old decision allowing states to criminalize polygamy that few would find credible today, even as they reject the practice. And it could be forced to address glaring contradictions created in recent decisions of constitutional law.

For polygamists, it is simply a matter of unequal treatment under the law.

Individuals have a recognized constitutional right to engage in any form of consensual sexual relationship with any number of partners. Thus, a person can live with multiple partners and even sire children from different partners so long as they do not marry. However, when that same person accepts a legal commitment for those partners "as a spouse," we jail them.

Likewise, someone such as singer Britney Spears can have multiple husbands so long as they are consecutive, not concurrent. Thus, Spears can marry and divorce men in quick succession and become the maven of tabloid covers. Yet if she marries two of the men for life, she will become the matron of a state prison.

Religion defines the issue

The difference between a polygamist and the follower of an "alternative lifestyle" is often religion. In addition to protecting privacy, the Constitution is supposed to protect the free exercise of religion unless the religious practice injures a third party or causes some public danger.

However, in its 1878 opinion in Reynolds vs. United States, the court refused to recognize polygamy as a legitimate religious practice, dismissing it in racist and anti-Mormon terms as "almost exclusively a feature of the life of Asiatic and African people." In later decisions, the court declared polygamy to be "a blot on our civilization" and compared it to human sacrifice and "a return to barbarism." Most tellingly, the court found that the practice is "contrary to the spirit of Christianity and of the civilization which Christianity has produced in the Western World."

Contrary to the court's statements, the practice of polygamy is actually one of the common threads between Christians, Jews and Muslims.

Deuteronomy contains a rule for the division of property in polygamist marriages. Old Testament figures such as Abraham, David, Jacob and Solomon were all favored by God and were all polygamists. Solomon truly put the "poly" to polygamy with 700 wives and 300 concubines. Mohammed had 10 wives, though the Koran limits multiple wives to four. Martin Luther at one time accepted polygamy as a practical necessity. Polygamy is still present among Jews in Israel, Yemen and the Mediterranean.

Indeed, studies have found polygamy present in 78% of the world's cultures, including some Native American tribes. (While most are polygynists — with one man and multiple women — there are polyandrists in Nepal and Tibet in which one woman has multiple male spouses.) As many as 50,000 polygamists live in the United States.

Given this history and the long religious traditions, it cannot be seriously denied that polygamy is a legitimate religious belief. Since polygamy is a criminal offense, polygamists do not seek marriage licenses. However, even living as married can send you to prison. Prosecutors have asked courts to declare a person as married under common law and then convicted them of polygamy.

The Green case

This is what happened in the case of Green, who was sentenced to five years to life in prison. In his case, the state first used the common law to classify Green and four women as constructively married — even though they never sought a license. Green was then convicted of polygamy.

While the justifications have changed over the years, the most common argument today in favor of a criminal ban is that underage girls have been coerced into polygamist marriages. There are indeed such cases. However, banning polygamy is no more a solution to child abuse than banning marriage would be a solution to spousal abuse. The country has laws to punish pedophiles and there is no religious exception to those laws.

In Green's case, he was shown to have "married" a 13-year-old girl. If Green had relations with her, he is a pedophile and was properly prosecuted for a child sex crime — just as a person in a monogamous marriage would be prosecuted.

The First Amendment was designed to protect the least popular and least powerful among us. When the high court struck down anti-sodomy laws in Lawrence vs. Texas, we ended decades of the use of criminal laws to persecute gays. However, this recent change was brought about in part by the greater acceptance of gay men and lesbians into society, including openly gay politicians and popular TV characters.

Such a day of social acceptance will never come for polygamists. It is unlikely that any network is going to air The Polygamist Eye for the Monogamist Guy or add a polygamist twist to Everyone Loves Raymond. No matter. The rights of polygamists should not be based on popularity, but principle.

I personally detest polygamy. Yet if we yield to our impulse and single out one hated minority, the First Amendment becomes little more than hype and we become little more than hypocrites. For my part, I would rather have a neighbor with different spouses than a country with different standards for its citizens.

I know I can educate my three sons about the importance of monogamy, but hypocrisy can leave a more lasting impression.

Jonathan Turley is the Shapiro Professor of Public Interest Law at George Washington Law School.

Find this article at:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/columnist/2004-10-03-turley_x.htm

Regarding the Hadeeth of Fatimah

2006-10-11T12:53:00.000-04:00

In explanation of the hadeeth narrated by Al-Miswar bin Makhrama:

"I heard Allah's Apostle who was on the pulpit, saying, 'Banu Hisham bin Al-Mughira have requested me to allow them to marry their daughter to Ali bin Abu Talib, but I don't give permission, and will not give permission unless 'Ali bin Abi Talib divorces my daughter in order to marry their daughter, because Fatima is a part of my body, and I hate what she hates to see, and what hurts her, hurts me.'" [Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Vol. 7, Book 62 (Book of Marriage), Hadeeth No. 4887]

Narrated from Ali ibn al-Husayn:

"Ali demanded the hand of the daughter of Abu Jahl. Fatimah heard of this and went to Allah's Messenger saying, 'Your people think that you do not become angry for the sake of your daughters as `Ali now is going to marry the daughter of Abu Jahl.'

On that, the Messenger got up and after his recitation of Tashahud (witnessing the oneness of the Creator and the prophethood of His Final Messenger) I heard him saying, 'I married one of my daughters (Zainab) to Abu Al-`Aas ibn Ar-Rabi` before Islam and he proved truthful in whatever he said to me. No doubt Fatimah is part of me; I hate to see her troubled. By Allah, the daughter of Allah's Messenger and the daughter of Allah's enemy cannot be the wives of one man.'" [Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Vol. 4, Book 53 (Book of One-Fifth of War Booty), Hadeeth No. 2900]

This hadith talks about the incident of `Ali wanting to marry the daughter of Abu Jahl, the bitterest enemy of Allah and His Messenger. Abu Jahl remained a kaafir 'til his death. He humiliated the Prophet and his Companions and tortured them; he also attempted the life of the Prophet many times.

Abu Jahl was finally killed by the Believers in the Battle of Badr long before `Ali proposed to marry his daughter. Thus, it becomes evident that the Prophet's justification of his disapproval of that marriage was not because he discouraged polygyny, as he himself was the best of examples and had multiple wives, but because of the shameful family history of the bride, which would definitely trouble his beloved daughter.

polygyny 101

2006-10-11T09:13:00.000-04:00

subhanAllah, since polygyny has become a reality in my life, i have come across numerous comments, verbal and written, seeking to define polygyny in Islam, its limitations and condtions. alhamdulillah, much of the information i have come across has been correct; however in the midst of such truth there has also been a great deal of falsehood. i have decided that being that my blog's focus is polygyny and insha'Allah i seek to shed a truthful light on this blessed part of Islam, i wanted to tackle some of the misconceptions about what polygyny in Islam is and isn't. insha'Allah everything that follows will be accompanied by proof from the Qur'aan and Sunnah.

First: the aayah in the Qur'aan that establishes polygyny as a part of Islam

"And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four." ~Surat an-Nisaa'(4):3

Tafseer Ibn Katheer:The Permission to Marry Four Women

Allaah's statement "two or three, or four" means, marry as many women as you like, other than the orphan girls, two, three or four. We should mention that Allaah's statement in another aayah,

"Who made the angels messengers with wings, - two or three or four" (35:1),

does not mean that other angels do not have more than four wings, as there are proofs that some angels do have more wings. Yet, men are prohibited from marrying more than four wives, as the aayah decrees, since the aayah specifies what men are allowed of wives, as Ibn 'Abbaas and the majority of scholars stated. If it were allowed for them to have more than four wives, the aayah would have mentioned it.

Imaam Ahmad recorded that Saalim said that his father said that Gheelan bin Salamah Ath-Thaqafi had ten wives when he became Muslim, and the Prophet sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam said to him, "Choose any four of them (and divorce the rest)." During the reign of ^Umar, Gheelan divorced his remaining wives and divided his money between his children. When ^Umar heard news of this, he said to Gheelan, "I think that the devil has conveyed to your heart the news of your imminent death, from what the devil hears during his eavesdropping. It may as well be that you will not remain alive but for a little longer. By Allaah! You will take back your wives and your money, or I will take possession of this all and will order that your grave be stoned as is the case with the grave of Abu Righak (from Thamuud, who was saved from their fate because he was in the Sacred Area. But, when he left it, he was tormented like they were)." Ash-Shaafi^ee, At-Tirmidhi, Ibn Maajah, Ad-Daaraqutni and Al-Bayhaqi collected this Hadeeth up to the Prophet's statement, "Choose any four of them." Only Ahmad collected the full version of this Hadeeth.

Therefore, had it been allowed for men to marry more than four women at the same time, the Prophet sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam would have allowed Gheelan to keep more than four of his wives since they all embraced Islaam with him. When the Prophet sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam commanded him to keep just four of them and divorce the rest, this indicated that men are not allowed to keep more than four wives at a time under any circumstances. If this is the case concerning those who already had more than four wives upon embracing Islaam, then this ruling applies even more so to marrying more than four.

My Note: It is clear from the above tafseer of the classical mufassireen Ibn Katheer that the proof for polygyny being a part of Islam is established in Aayah 3 of Suraat an-Nisaa'. In addition, this aayah establishes the limit of four wives, a limitation that was not in place prior to Islam as is evident from the Hadeeth of Gheelan bin Salamah Ath-Thaqafi who had ten wives prior to Islam and, upon the revelation of this aayah, was instructed by the Prophet sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam, to divorce six of his wives and retain four. The hadeeth of Gheelan bin Salamah is also proof against those who claim that the Prophet sallallahu ^alahyi wa sallam favored monogamy or that Allah subhanahu wa ta^ala declared monogamy to be better than polygyny, for if this was so, then surely the Prophet sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam would have advised Gheelan to divorce nine of his wives and retain only one and surely when ^Umar radee Allahu ^anhu heard that Gheelan had divorced the remaining four of his wives, he (^Umar) radee Allahu ^anhu would not have have advised Gheelan to remarry all four.

Second: the two aayat dealing with the issue of justice between multiple wives

"But if you fear that you will not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or what your right hands possess." ~Suurat an-Nisaa'(4):3

Tafseer Ibn Katheer:Marrying Only One Wife When One Fears He Might not Do Justice to His Wives

Allaahs' statement,

"But if you fear that you will not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or what your right hands possess."

The aayah commands, if you fear that you will not be able to do justice between your wives by marrying more than one, then marry only one wife, or satisfy yourself with only female captives, for it is not obligatory to treat them equally, rather it is recommended. So if one does so, that is good, and if not, there is no harm on him. In another aayah, Allaah said,

"You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even it is your ardent desire (4:129)." Allah said,

"That is nearer to prevent you from Ta^uuluu,"

meaning, from doing injustice. Ibn Abi Haatim, Ibn Marduwyah and Abu Haatim Ibn Hibbaan, in his Saheeh, recorded that ^Aa'ishah said that, the Prophet sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam said that the aayah, "That is nearer to prevent you from Ta^uuluu," means, from doing injustice. However, Ibn Abi Haatim said that his father said that this Hadeeth to the Prophet sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam is a mistake, for it should be attributed to ^Aa'ishah not the Prophet sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam.

My Note: Allaah subhanahu wa ta^ala reveals things in their order of preference and importance. For example, regarding zakaat, Allaah states,

"As-Sadaqaat (i.e. Zakaah) are only for the Fuqaraa', and Al-Masaakeen, and those employed to collect the funds; and to attract the hearts of those who have been inclined (towards Islaam); and to free the captives; and for those in debt; and for Allaah's cause, and for Ibn As-Sabeel; a duty imposed by Allaah. And Allaah is All-Knower, All-Wise." ~Suurat at-Tawbah(9):60

In Tafseer Ibn Katheer, it is stated "Allaah mentioned the expenditures of Zakaah in this aayah, starting with the Fuqaraa' (the poor) because they have more need than the other categories, since their need is pressing and precarious." Also, many of the classical scholars have commented on this aayah that the categories of people worthy of zakaah are mentioned according to importance, with the most important being the first mentioned (i.e. the Fuqaraa') and descending in importance and priority accordingly.

That being said, the same is true with regards to the aayah about polygyny. Again, just to refresh the reader's memory, Allaah subhanahu wa ta^ala states in Suurat an-Nisaa'(4):3,

"But if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one ..."

i have bolded the "but" and the "then" to make a grammatical point. but first, clearly Allah subhanahu wa ta^ala mentions polygyny first in the aayah before metnioning monogamy. this is clear. secondly, Allah subhhanahu wa ta^ala mentions monogamy as conditonal upon one fearing he will not be able to do justice. He states that if one fears not being able to deal justly with more than one, then one should marry only one. the word "then" implies that what comes after it is secondary upon the conditions that are mentioned before it. this point is very important, for often in the discussion about polygyny people start off with making the point that polygyny is conditional upon the man being able to be just, insinuating that monogamy is of priority and polygyny is secondary. however, if one were to truly look at the aayah they would see that in fact, Allah subhanahu wa ta^ala mentions polygyny first and then specifies that monogamy is conditional upon one fearing he cannot be just.

Regarding the aayah, "You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire (4:129)," in Tafseer ibn Katheer it states,

"(it) means, O people! You will never be able to be perfectly just between wives in every respect. Even when one divides the nights justly between wives, there will still be various degrees concerning love, desire and sexual intimacy, as Ibn ^Abbaas, ^Ubaydah As-Salmaani, Mujaahid, Al-Hasan Al-Basri and Ad-Dahhaak bin Muzaahim stated.

"Imaam Ahmad and the collectors of the Sunan recorded that ^Aa'ishah said, "The Messenger of Allaah sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam used to treat his wives equally and proclaim,

'O Allaah! This is my division in what I own, so do not blame me for what You own and I do not own,'

referring to his heart. This was the wording that Abu Daawud collected, and its chain of naarators is Saheeh."

My Note: So, from the above it becomes clear that when Allaah subhanahu wa ta^ala enjoins the Believing men to treat multiple wives equally, what is meant by equality is in the division of nights, maintenance and those things which one has control over, but that insha'Allah he is excused from those things one does not have control over such as love, desire, and sexual intimacy.

also, this clears up any misconceptions that there are contradictions in the Qur'aan being that in Suraat an-Nisaa' Allaah enjoins the Believing men to be just to multiple wives and then later states that they will never be able to do perfect justice. the first aayah is referring to those things which one has control over and the second is referring to those things which one does not have control over.

Also, take note that while each wife is entitled to equality when it comes to maintenance and nights, a woman can also choose to forego these rights and there will be no sin on the man. one example we have is that of Sawdah bint Zam'a radee Allahu anhaa who gave up her night to ^Aa'ishah radee Allahu anhaa.

Third: Regarding the notion that polygyny is only permissible during times of war, marriage to widows or if one's wife cannot have children, there is no authentic proof from the Qur'aan or the Sunnah that supports this claim. Quite the contrary, we find that in the example of Rasulullah sallallahu ^alayhi wa sallam, who was th best of examples, that amongst his wives were those who were widows and those who were not, those who were married as a consequence of war and those who were not. There is no indication that the Prophet married again due to his current wives not being able to have children. Nowhere in the Qur'aan does Allah set the condition that a Believing man can only have more than one wife in instances of war, marrying of widows, or a current wife's infertility. So, while the above-mentioned scenarios are conditions in which polygyny is beneficial and might be practiced, they by no means are the ONLY conditions in which polygyny can take place.

in closing, insha'Allah i pray that this post has clarified some of the most common misunderstandings regarding polygyny in Islam. and i pray insha'Allah that Allah subhanahu wa ta^ala accepts this from me as an extension of my worship of and submission to Him and forgives me my shortcomings. all that i have said that is correct and true is from Allah subhanahu wa ta^ala. the mistakes are only my own.