Regarding A Woman Stipulating That Her Husband Not Take Another Wife

Note: READ CAREFULLY, THOROUGHLY, MORE THAN ONCE AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE THIRD FOOTNOTE!!!

What a Woman may Stipulate in a Marriage Contract
Written By: Imaam Ibn Qudamah al-Maqdisi
Translated By: Yahya Adel Ibrahim From al-Mughni of Ibn Qudamah Vol. 9, Page 483: Issue #1141
Source: islaam.net

He said: "If a man marries her and (accepted) her stipulations that he shall not remove her from her home or city (country), then her stipulation is to be honoured/ fulfilled (from that moment on) due to what has been reported from Rasulullaah (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam). He said: "The most deserving of conditions to be honoured/fulfilled are those which the genitalia are deemed Halal by them (Marriage is built upon their acceptance)."

As well if he marries her and (accepts) her stipulation that he will not marry another woman while with her then she is granted the power to abandon him if he marries another."

The summary of (this issue) is that stipulations relating to Nikaah (pre-nuptiual agreements) are of three main categories.

(Translators note: Only the first issue is translated):

First: (A condition) that which must be fulfilled. It is a condition wherein its benefit and worth are returned. Examples are stipulations wherein he (vows) not to remove her from her residence or land, or that he will not travel with her (to foreign lands), or that he will not take another wife while with her. All of these are conditions that he would be bound to fulfilling (if he agreed to them before cohabitation). If he does not honour the stipulations she is granted the ability (and right) to annul the marriage (at her will). This is reported as being the opinion of:

‘Umar bin al-Khattab, Sa‘d bin Abi Waqas, Mu‘awiyah, ‘Amr bin al- ‘Aas (radia Allahu ‘Anhum). It was also stated by:

Shurayh, ‘Umar bin ‘Abdul-Aziz, Jabir bin Zayd, Tawus, Al-Awza‘i and Ishaq."

Those who deemed these conditions unacceptable were:

az-Zuhari, Qatadah, Hisham bin ‘Urwa, Malik [1], al-Laith, ath-Thawri, ash-Shafi‘i (in part), ibn al-Mundhir, and the people of logical deduction and inference.

Abu Hanifah and ash-Shafi‘ee stated: "If he breaks one of the aforementioned conditions she is not entitled to leaving him. The original dowry (Mahr) is deemed invalid and she deserves another equal Mahr to what she has already been given (by her husband)."

They use as their proof the statement of Rasulullah (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam):

"Any condition, which is not in Allaah’s Book, is worthless (invalid). Even if there are a hundred conditions. Allaah’s decision is more valid and Allaah’s condition is more binding." (Agreed upon)

(They say) such a condition is (not sanctioned) in Allaah’s Book since the Law does not espouse it.

He (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) also said, "Muslims are bound to their conditions/stipulations. (But) a condition that makes Halaal a Haraam or a Haraam Halaal is (not from binding conditions)." (Bukhari, Tirmidhi and others)

This (type of condition) is turning a Halaal into a Haraam. Taking more than wife and traveling (are Halaal). As well, these conditions do not benefit or improve the ‘Aqd (marital pre-nuptial contract) and are not integral to it. In fact it would be similar to stipulating that she is not to present her self (ever) to him (in copulation)."

End words of Shafi‘ee and Abu Hanifah

For us (our understanding) we have the following (evidence):

"The most deserving of conditions to be honoured/fulfilled are those which the genitalia are deemed Halaal by them (Marriage is built upon their acceptance)."
Agreed Upon.

As well his statement (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam): "Muslims are bound to their conditions/stipulations." (Previously referenced)

As well we have named many Sahaba who validated these stipulations, and none from their generation/peers refuted them. Therefore we establish this as being Ijma‘ (consensual agreement by them all).

It is narrated by al-Athram with his chain of narration that a man married a woman and (agreed to the stipulation) that she may reside in her (own) home. Thereafter he sought to transfer her elsewhere. They turned to ‘Umar (Radee Allahu 'anhuu) in disputation.

He (Radee Allahu 'anhuu) said, "Her condition is to be fulfilled."

The man replied, "If that is the case then she is to grant the divorce (he means that she is to relinquish her condition or divorce him)."

‘Umar (radee Allahu 'anhuu) replied, "The absolute rights are (established with their) stipulations (His right is over-ruled by his agreement to her stipulation)." [2]

This (as well as the other mentioned stipulations are) valid because there is only benefit found in it (i.e. it does not call to deviance) and it is not intended to depreciate or tarnish what is established by Nikaah. Therefore fulfilling the condition is obligatory. (These types of stipulations) are the same as if she stipulated that he increase her Mahr (from his initial offer) or not take her abroad.

As for the Prophet's (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) statement: "Any condition, which is not in Allaah’s Book, is worthless (invalid)."

This is regarding a condition that is not founded upon Allaah’s Hukm and Sharee'ah. These (conditions) are substantiated in Sharee'ah. We have shown precedence for it. Those who seek to oppose this (valid opinion) must bring forth (explicit) evidence that renders the aforementioned evidence nullified.

As for their (Shafi‘i and Abu Haneefah) statement: that these stipulations make a Halaal Haraam, then we say that they do not make the Halaal into Haraam.

It merely ensures the right of a woman to decide for herself if she wishes to remain in that situation or not considering that he has not fulfilled his pre-marital agreement.[3]

As for their statement: That there is no benefit or improvement in these stipulations.

We say that we object to this understanding. These (stipulations) are very beneficial for the woman. The benefit of the stipulator is beneficial as well for the one being stipulated to (since the man knows what is acceptable and what is not).

Fasl (Side point):

If she was to stipulate that he was to divorce his other wife then that condition would be deemed invalid and unacceptable.

Abu Huraira (radee Allahu 'anhuu) reports: "An-Nabi (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) forbade a woman from making it a condition for her husband to divorce her sister (his other wife)." (Reported by al-Bukhari)


Footnotes:

Verification of Athar:

[1] The Madh’hab of Malik validates a stipulation upon a man in which it is stipulated that he is not to marry another women while in marriage with the first (wife) or else she will be given the order (power) in her hand (to annul the marriage). She would be given the power to separate from him at her choice. This position of Malik is similar in meaning to the position of al-Imaam Ahmed. (Fatawa of Ibn Taymiyyah 32nd Volume, Page 164-165)

[2] Reported by Ibn Abi Shaybah in his Musaanaf (Vol. 4 pages 199). As well it is found in the Sunnan of Sa‘eed bin Mansour (Vo1. 1, Pg. 185)

[3] It is important to note that the second wife is legal for the man to wed. The issue is whether the first wife wants to remain in that situation or not. Many people mistakenly think that this stipulation makes it illegal for the husband to take the second or third wife. That is not the case at all. It is merely to ensure that the first wife is able to leave the marital relationship if she cannot deal with the new situation.

Mizazeez Note: You know subhanAllah, this whole explanation is really actually in some ways a beautiful reconciliation between the two different opinions. for while it supports a woman being able to stipulate that her potential husband not take another wife while being married to her, it also makes clear that her stipulating this does not "prevent" him from practicing something Halal (polygyny), but rather it allows the woman to stay or leave if he chooses to do so. so basically, both the man and the woman's rights are being addressed and safeguarded. masha'Allah, i love the Salaf. they were so on it. may Allah reward them. Ameen.

Some Insight from the Narration of the Slander of A'isha

Narrated A'isha:

When there was said about me what was said which I myself was unaware of, Allah's Apostle got up and addressed the people. He recited Tashah-hud, and after glorifying and praising Allah as He deserved, he said:

"To proceed: O people Give me your opinion regarding those people who made a forged story against my wife. By Allah, I do not know anything bad about her. By Allah, they accused her of being with a man about whom I have never known anything bad, and he never entered my house unless I was present there, and whenever I went on a journey, he went with me."

Sad bin Mu'adh got up and said, "O Allah's Apostle Allow me to chop their heads off" Then a man from the Al-Khazraj (Sa'd bin 'Ubada) to whom the mother of (the poet) Hassan bin Thabit was a relative, got up and said (to Sad bin Mu'adh), "You have told a lie! By Allah, if those persons were from the Aus Tribe, you would not like to chop their heads off." It was probable that some evil would take place between the Aus and the Khazraj in the masjid, and I was unaware of all that.

In the evening of that day, I went out for some of my needs (i.e. to relieve myself), and Um Mistah was accompanying me. On our return, Um Mistah stumbled and said, "Let Mistah be ruined." I said to her, "O mother, why do you abuse your son." On that Um Mistah became silent for awhile, and stumbling again, she said, "Let Mistah be ruined." I said to her, "Why do you abuse your son?" She stumbled for the third time and said, "Let Mistah be ruined," whereupon I rebuked her for that. She said, "By Allah, I do not abuse him except because of you." I asked her, "Concerning what of my affairs?" So she disclosed the whole story to me. I said, "Has this really happened?" She replied, "Yes, by Allah."

I returned to my house, astonished (and distressed) that I did not know for what purpose I had gone out. Then I became sick (with fever) and said to Allah's Apostle, "Send me to my father's house." So he sent a slave with me, and when I entered the house, I found Um Rum-an (my mother) downstairs while (my father) Abu Bakr was reciting something upstairs. My mother asked, "What has brought you, O (my) daughter?" I informed her and mentioned to her the whole story, but she did not feel it as I did. She said:

"O my daughter! Take it easy, for there is never a charming lady loved by her husband who has other wives but that they feel jealous of her and speak badly of her."

But she did not feel the news as I did. I asked (her), "Does my father know about it?" She said, "Yes." I asked, "Does Allah's Apostle know about it too?" She said, "Yes, Allah's Apostle does too." So the tears filled my eyes and I wept. Abu Bakr, who was reading upstairs heard my voice and came down and asked my mother, "What is the matter with her? " She said, "She has heard what has been said about her (as regards the story of Al-lfk)." On that Abu- Bakr wept and said, "I beseech you by Allah, O my daughter, to go back to your home."

I went back to my home and Allah's Apostle had come to my house and asked my maid-servant about me (my character). The maid-servant said, "By Allah, I do not know of any defect in her character except that she sleeps and lets the sheep enter (her house) and eat her dough." On that, some of the Prophet's companions spoke harshly to her and said, "Tell the truth to Allah's Apostle." Finally they told her of the affair (of the slander). She said, "Subhan Allah! By Allah, I know nothing against her except what goldsmith knows about a piece of pure gold." Then this news reached the man who was accused, and he said, "Subhan Allah! By Allah, I have never uncovered the private parts of any woman." Later that man was martyred in Allah's Cause.

Next morning my parents came to pay me a visit and they stayed with me until Allah's Apostle came to me after he had offered the 'Asr prayer. He came to me while my parents were sitting around me on my right and my left. He praised and glorified Allah and said, "Now then O 'Aisha! If you have committed a bad deed or you have wronged (yourself), then repent to Allah as Allah accepts the repentance from his slaves."

An Ansari woman had come and was sitting near the gate. I said (to the Prophet), "Isn't it improper that you speak in such a way in the presence of this lady?" Allah's Apostle then gave a piece of advice and I turned to my father and requested him to answer him (on my behalf). My father said, "What should I say?" Then I turned to my mother and asked her to answer him. She said, "What should I say?"

When my parents did not give a reply to the Prophet, I said, "I testify that none has the right to be worshipped except Allah, and that Muhammad is His Apostle!" And after praising and glorifying Allah as He deserves, I said, "Now then, by Allah, if I were to tell you that I have not done (this evil action) and Allah is a witness that I am telling the truth, that would not be of any use to me on your part because you (people) have spoken about it and your hearts have absorbed it; and if I were to tell you that I have done this sin and Allah knows that I have not done it, then you will say, 'She has confessed herself guilty.' By Allah, I do not see a suitable example for me and you but the example of (I tried to remember Yaquub's name but couldn't) Yusuf's father when he said, 'So (for me) patience is most fitting against that which you assert. It is Allah (alone) whose help can be sought.'

At that very hour the Divine Inspiration came to Allah's Apostle and we remained silent. Then the Inspiration was over and I noticed the signs of happiness on his face while he was removing (the sweat) from his forehead and saying, "Have the good tidings O 'Aisha! Allah has revealed your innocence." At that time I was extremely angry. My parents said to me, "Get up and go to him." I said, "By Allah, I will not do it and will not thank him nor thank either of you, but I will thank Allah Who has revealed my innocence. You have heard this story but neither did not deny it nor change it (to defend me)."

A'isha further said: "Allah's Apostle also asked Zainab bint Jahsh (i.e. his wife) about my case. He said to Zainab, 'What do you know and what did you see?' She replied, 'O Allah's Apostle! I refrain from claiming falsely that I have heard or seen anything. By Allah, I know nothing except good (about A'isha).'

From amongst the wives of the Prophet Zainab was my peer (in beauty and in the love she received from the Prophet) but Allah saved her from that evil because of her piety.

~Saheeh al-Bukhari, Kitaab at-Tafseer, Hadeeth No. 4429

Expressions of Jealousy and Persistent Requests for Equality

Narrated 'Urwa from A'isha:

The wives of Allah's Apostle were in two groups. One group consisted of A'isha, Hafsa, Safiyyah and Sawda; and the other group consisted of Umm Salamah and the other wives of Allah's Apostle.

The Muslims knew that Allah's Apostle loved A'isha, so if any of them had a gift and wished to give it to Allah's Apostle, he would delay it, until Allah's Apostle had come to A'isha's home and then he would send his gift to Allah's Apostle in her home.

The group of Umm Salamah discussed the matter together and decided that Umm Salamah should request Allah's Apostle to tell the people to send their gifts to him in whatever wife's house he was. Umm Salamah told Allah's Apostle of what they had said, but he did not reply. Then they (those wives) asked Umm Salamah about it. She said, "He did not say anything to me." They asked her to talk to him again. She talked to him again when she met him on her day, but he gave no reply. When they asked her, she replied that he had given no reply. They said to her, "Talk to him until he gives you a reply." When it was her turn, she talked to him again. He then said to her,

"Do not hurt me regarding A'isha, as the Divine Inspirations do not come to me on any of the beds except that of A'isha."

On that Umm Salamah said, "I repent to Allah for hurting you."

Then the group of Umm Salamah called Fatima, the daughter of Allah's Apostle and sent her to Allah's Apostle to say to him,

"Your wives request to treat them and the daughter of Abu Bakr on equal terms."

Then Fatima conveyed the message to him. The Prophet said, "O my daughter! Don't you love whom I love?" She replied in the affirmative and returned and told them of the situation. They requested her to go to him again but she refused.

They then sent Zaynab bint Jahsh who went to him and used harsh words saying, "Your wives request you to treat them and the daughter of Ibn Abu Quhafa on equal terms." On that she raised her voice and abused A'isha to her face so much so that Allah's Apostle looked at A'isha to see whether she would retort. A'isha started replying to Zaynab till she silenced her. The Prophet then looked at A'isha and said, "She is really the daughter of Abu Bakr."

~Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Book of Gifts, Hadeeth No. 2417

Don't Shoot the Messenger

زُيِّنَ لِلنَّاسِ حُبُّ الشَّهَوَاتِ مِنَ النِّسَاء وَالْبَنِينَ وَالْقَنَاطِيرِ الْمُقَنطَرَةِ مِنَ الذَّهَبِ وَالْفِضَّةِ وَالْخَيْلِ الْمُسَوَّمَةِ وَالأَنْعَامِ وَالْحَرْثِ ذَلِكَ مَتَاعُ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا وَاللّهُ عِندَهُ حُسْنُ الْمَآبِ

Beautified for men is the love of things they covet; women, children, much of gold and silver (wealth), branded beautiful horses, cattle and well-tilled land. This is the pleasure of the present world's life; but Allâh has the excellent return (Paradise with flowing rivers, etc.) with Him. (Aali Imran 3:14)

Tafseer Ibn Katheer:

The True Value of This Earthly Life

Allah mentions the delights that He put in this life for people, such as women and children, and He started with women, because the test with them is more tempting. For instance, the Sahih recorded that the Messenger said,

«مَا تَرَكْتُ بَعْدِي فِتْنَةً أَضَرَّ عَلَى الرِّجَالِ مِنَ النِّسَاء»
(I did not leave behind me a test more tempting to men than women.){1}

When one enjoys women for the purpose of having children and preserving his chastity, then he is encouraged to do so. There are many Hadiths that encourage getting married, such as,

«وَإِنَّ خَيْرَ هذِهِ الْأُمَّةِ مَنْ كَانَ أَكْثَرَهَا نِسَاء»
(Verily, the best members of this Ummah are those who have the most wives){2} He also said,

«الدُّنْيَا مَتَاعٌ، وَخَيْرُ مَتَاعِهَا الْمَرْأَةُ الصَّالِحَة»
(This life is a delight, and the best of its delight is a righteous wife){3}

The Prophet said in another Hadith,

«حُبِّبَ إِلَيَّ النِّسَاءُ وَالطِّيبُ، وَجُعِلَتْ قُرَّةُ عَيْنِي فِي الصَّلَاة»
(I was made to like women and perfume, and the comfort of my eye is the prayer.){4)

`A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said, "Nothing was more beloved to the Messenger of Allah than women, except horses,'' and in another narration, "...than horses except women.''{5)

Footnotes:

1. Fath Al-Baari 9:41
2. Fath Al-Baari 9:15. That is, a maximum of four at the same time.
3. Muslim 2:1090
4. An-Nasaa'ee in Al-Kubraa 5:280
5. An-Nasee'ee 6:217, 7:61

Fatwa-Kick

yeah yeah, i know i've been on a fatwa-kick as of late, pushing those "scholarly edicts," in the words of one of my fellow sister bloggers (she knows who she is *wink wink*). i guess a lot of issues have been arising on the blog world and my fatwa-kick is an indirect response to these issues as i'm sure many people are asking the same questions and having the same concerns. soooo...chew 'em up and digest 'em.

Advising One's Husband

Question: If a woman advised her husband who is lazy with respect to performing the prayers in the mosque and she shows her anger towards him, is she being sinful because of his greater right over her?

Response: There is no sin upon a woman if she advises her husband when he performs something that Allaah has forbidden, such as being lazy with respect to performing the prayer with the congregation, drinking alcohol or having entertainment during the night. In fact, she will be rewarded. The advice should be in a good and kind way. In this way, it will more likely be accepted and benefited from.

Shaykh Ibn Baaz
Fataawa al-Mar.ah
www.fatwa-online.com

Ahadeeth Regarding Obedience to One's Husband In That Which is Good

Ibn Hibbaan narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: "The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said: If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’”

Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 660.

Ibn Maajah (1853) narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Awfa said: "When Mu’aadh came from Syria, he prostrated to the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) who said, 'What is this, O Mu'aadh?' He said, 'I went to Syria and saw them prostrating to their archbishops and patriarchs, and I wanted to do that for you.' The Messenger of Allaah (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said, 'Do not do that. If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allaah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allaah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.'”

Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.

Ahmad (19025) and al-Haakim narrated from al-Husayn ibn Muhsin that his paternal aunt came to the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) for something and he dealt with her need, then the Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said: “Do you have a husband?” She said, “Yes.” He said: “How are you with him?” She said, “I do not neglect any of his rights except those I am unable to fulfil.” He said: “Look at how you are with him, for he is your paradise and your hell” – i.e., he is the cause of you entering Paradise if you fulfil his rights and the cause of your entering Hell if you fall short in that.

Al-Mundhiri classed the isnaad of this hadeeth as jayyid in al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb; it was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, no. 1933.

Women Who Discuss Private Marital Matters With Others

*Please appropriately reference this fatwa to: www.fatwa-online.com, thankyou!*

Question: There are some women who are overcome (with the urge) to talk about goings on at home and their (private) life with their husbands to their relatives and friends. Some of this talk is about private matters which the husband would not want anyone to know about. So what is the ruling regarding the women who reveal private matters outside of the home or to some of those within the home?

Response: That which some women do in talking about goings on at home and married life to their relatives and friends is haraam, and it is not permissible for a woman to reveal private matters of her home or how things are with her husband to anyone! Allaah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) said:

{Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allaah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allaah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.)}, [Soorah an-Nisaa., Aayah 34].

And the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said:

"The worst of the people in (the Sight of) Allaah on the Day of Resurrection is the man who discloses (secrets) to his wife and she discloses (secrets) to him and then he reveals her secrets (to others)." [Transmitted by Muslim - Volume 2, Number 1020, Abu Daawood - Number 4870; with the chain: ‘Abdur-Rahmaan ibn Sa’d on the authority of Sa’eed al-Khudree]

Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen
Fataawa Muhimmah li-Nisaa. al-Ummah - Page 157
Fataawa Islaamiyyah - Volume 3, Page 211

The Ruling on Marriage Sites That Allow the Exchange of Personal Information and the Like

Question: There are many matrimonial websites that allow men and women to have live and private chats. They can exchange email, addresses, phone numbers and even pictures. Many of the women even describe their bodies. There are muslim men who use the excuse that they are entitled to more than one wife, and they use a lot of their spare time on these sites and as a result, they break up their households. Among those are those who lose interest in their present wives. Some will also get angry when their wives find out what they are doing , then threaten them with divorce and they even physically abuse them.Please advise us in this matter, May Allah bless you.

Answer: I say that this is a great calamity. Indeed this is a wicked act. It is an evil that comes from this technology (the internet) . What is mentioned in this question is not permissable for the men to be looking at these websites and the likes of this. As for a person who says that he is using these sites so he can get married, if he wants to get married, indeed the Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam has guided us on how a person should go and choose a wife. That he should look at her and find what encourages him to marry her in a legislated way. Not following his desires. No doubt that the way the people use the internet to look at women like this, it is something that is not permissable. This way is haraam. It is made unlawful by the legislation, so therefore stay away from it.

What is a permissable way for a man to look at a woman is supported by the text. For example he should look at her hands and her face.if she agrees to that. And also he may look at her while she's walking without her knowing that he's looking at her. Perhaps if she's walking on the street, and hes standing in one spot, he may look at her and the likes of this. But as for the people looking at these websites on the internet, then it is not only impermissable but it brings a lot of evil impact. Because it is not just the look, it may lead to conversation, because the questioner states that they may exchange emails and phone numbers and they may start talking. And this may lead them to speech that is not right for them wa 'authoobila they may fall into adultery and fornication. This is just from their speech, but what about those who exchange pictures and addresses through the internet. This is a great calamity and affliction. A person should stay away from it, because it can lead the one who sees these pictures of the women, it will make him dislike his wife and have desires to be with those women on the internet. Allah subhana wa ta'alaa has ordered the believers to lower their gazes. Allah says :

قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ذَلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ

"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allâh is All-Aware of what they do."[An-Nur 24:30]

The point in preference here is that this act is not permissable. It is incumbent upon the muslim to fear his lord and he should not look at what is impermissable for him to look at. The Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam was asked about the second look. If a person didn't have any desire to look, the Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam said "If this happened then you need to turn your eyes from that." So for example if a woman comes out and some parts of her are exposed (accidentally) and a person didnt desire to look, but he looked the first time, then the first is ok, but the second will be counted against him.

So if this is the case, what about those who sit in front of the internet and chat with these women who it's not permissable to talk to? Sending pictures and exchanging pictures, what will they say to Allah subhana wa ta'alaa on yawm al qiyamah? Again this is not permissable. It is an unlawful act. It is wicked and horrendous and a despicable act that destroys households. It seperates the spouses. And this is enough that this evil here destroys the households, that it is sufficient for it to be labeled as an evil and despicable act. So it is incumbent on every muslim who is listening, or to whom this message reaches to fear Allah subhana wa ta'alaa, and to stay away from those websites and chatrooms because this isn't permissable.

Q & A Sheykh Muhammad ibn Hadee al Madkhaalee -hafidthuallah
November 26, 2006
Translated by Abu Muhammad al Maghrebee
Telelink - Masjid Rahmah

niqab and the burqa: from exotic to extreme

inspired by one of my fellow sister bloggers icons, a black-and-white sketching of a woman clad from head-to-toe in the traditional afghani burqa with no trace of facial or bodily features, i too wanted something similar to identify me on the blogosphere. i began my icon search by typing in the word "niqab" in the Google Image search engine. the majority of the image results were close-up shots of the eyes of muslimaat peering through mostly black niqabs. as these images did not meet the quality of COMPLETE concealment that i was looking for, i decided to modify my search by exchanging the word "niqab" with the word "burqa." the first image: Lil' Kim, a very lewd female rapper on the cover of One World magazine, her eyes gazing out of a burgundy burqa which just barely covers her neckline, her breasts on downward completely exposed save for a matching skimpy burgundy string bikini. as i perused through the rest of the images it became clear to me that if by modifying my search i was looking for something more discrete, i was mistaken. sure, there were many images of Muslim women covered in the traditional burqa, however, peppered amidst these images were other images of mostly white European women donning some semblance of the burqa as if donning some sexy piece of lingerie. although the Lil' Kim image definitely took the cake in the "burqa as exotic" category, there were two others that were close matches. one was a series of six digressional images showing the transformation of a woman in burqa to an image of britney spears. as the images neared the one of britney spears the burqa's conciliatory effect became less and less apparant. the other image was actually a part of a series called "The Burka Project," which is a series of photos taken by reknowned pornographic/erotic photographers of white European models posing in the burqa in various locales throughout Paris and Vienna.

while this paradox should have shocked me, it didn't. instead i was reminded of a "Third World Documentary" course i took in college in which we read an essay written by an Algerian revolutionary during the Algerian Revolution against France. The Algerian revolutionary dedicates an entire section of his essay to the symblolic nature of Muslim women's complete covering, how the burqa-like garb that was worn by many of the Algerian women during the time of the war became affiliated with revolution because of its strategic use in the war. Algerian women would participate in the Algerian resistance by transporting guns to the revolutionaries, easily maneuvering through city streets unnoticed while they concealed weaponry underneath their flowing garments. Women were also used as secret messengers, again being able to utlize their invisibility in the public sphere. When the French eventually figured out this otherwise secret tactic of the Algerian revolutionaries, the women's conciliatory garb, which was once viewed as a mark of innocence and served to render women invisible, now became branded with the mark of revolutionary resistance.

in addition, the author of the essay speaks about the whole orientalist "Muslim/Eastern woman as exotic" prototype and how this view, while it was perpetuated by European men, was reviled by European women. European men found the secretive, modest, timidity of the Muslim woman to be exotic and seductive. Indeed if you read many journals and novels of the past you will find stories of the "Eastern woman" clad in her flowing gown with nothing of her body or face to be seen except for maybe a hand or foot intriguing some male European character/explorer, tempting him with the unseen, luring him into some alley or harem where he is amazed to find hordes of women just like her ready to satisfy his every need. in the essay of the Algerian revolutionary he talks about how this obsession with the "Eastern woman as exotic" threatened the white European woman because in essence the Eastern woman was everything she was not. back in the day, the women of the West were basically stripped of any sexuality or sensuality. this was coupled with the whole Christian doctrine of "sex is for reproduction not for pleasure." in addition to being threatened by this perceived exoticism of the Eastern woman, the author of the essay talks about how European women were threatened by the Muslim woman's concealment of her body because her reasoning for doing so defied the emerging notions of Western feminism that attached liberation and freedom to the baring of bodily parts. for the Algerian Muslim woman, her liberation and freedom was tied to her bodily concealment, the exact opposite of her Western peers.

with the more recent spotlight on niqab and a Muslim woman's complete covering being seen as "extreme" and a "threat to assimilation" and things like this, it's interesting that the same countries that have perpetuated this notion are also the very ones who concocted the notion of the Muslim woman as exotic based around the very garb that they are now deeming "extreme" and a "threat." it is in these same countries that you find a whole segment of the pornographic industry dedicated to the "Muslim woman as fantasy." of course that fantasy, while it is based on the perceived allure of the completely covered Muslimah, is not complete without the Muslim woman ultimately shedding her conciliatory garb. ahhh, the paradox!!!

Adultery In Islam vs. In the Judeo-Christian Tradition

in my research on the topic of polygamy in the Judeo-Christian tradition, in particular looking at the historical development of the criminalization and demoralization of polygamy by the Christian church, I came across a book entitled "The History and Philosophy of Marriage" written in 1869 by a Christian philanthropist. in the book, the author compares polygamy to monogamy through the lens of Bliblical texts with the ultimate goal of proving that polygamy is the true foundation of marriage according to the sciptural foundations of Christianity and that making marriage exclusive to monogamy has many negative social repercussions, while if polygamy is allowed, it would provide a remedy to many of the social ills plaguing society. it was while reading this treatise that i came across the following passage regarding adultery in the Bliblical tradition:

"According to the system of polygamy, if any man has intercourse with another's man's wife, they are both guilty of adultery; but if any man has intercourse with an unmarried woman, then both are guilty of fornication. That is, it is the married or unmarried state of the woman, and not of the man, that determines the nature of the crime."

i investigated this further, in particular how this differs with the Islamic tradition, and i came across the following:

Adultery is considered a sin in all religions. The Bible decrees the death sentence for both the adulterer and the adulteress (Lev. 20:10) . Islam also equally punishes both the adulterer and the adulteress (Quran 24:2). However, the Quranic definition of adultery is very different from the Biblical definition. Adultery, according to the Quran, is the involvement of a married man or a married woman in an extramarital affair. The Bible only considers the extramarital affair of a married woman as adultery (Leviticus 20:10, Deuteronomy 22:22, Proverbs 6:20-7:27).

"If a man is found sleeping with another man's wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel." (Deut. 22:22)

"If a man commits adultery with another man's wife both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death." (Lev. 20:10)

According to the Biblical definition, if a married man sleeps with an unmarried woman, this is not considered a crime at all. The married man who has extramarital affairs with unmarried women is not an adulterer and the unmarried women involved with him are not adulteresses. The crime of adultery is committed only when a man, whether married or single, sleeps with a married woman. In this case the man is considered adulterer, even if he is not married, and the woman is considered adulteress. In short, adultery is any illicit sexual intercourse involving a married woman. The extramarital affair of a married man is not per se a crime in the Bible. Why is the dual moral standard? According to Encyclopaedia Judaica, the wife was considered to be the husband's possession and adultery constituted a violation of the husband's exclusive right to her; the wife as the husband's possession had no such right to him. That is, if a man had sexual intercourse with a married woman, he would be violating the property of another man and, thus, he should be punished.

To the present day in Israel, if a married man indulges in an extramarital affair with an unmarried woman, his children by that woman are considered legitimate. But, if a married woman has an affair with another man, whether married or not married, her children by that man are not only illegitimate but they are considered bastards and are forbidden to marry any other Jews except converts and other bastards. This ban is handed down to the children's descendants for 10 generations until the taint of adultery is presumably weakened.

The Quran, on the other hand, never considers any woman to be the possession of any man. The Quran eloquently describes the relationship between the spouses by saying:

"And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Quran 30:21)

This is the Quranic conception of marriage: love, mercy, and tranquillity, not possession and double standards.

Taken from "Women in Islam Versus Women in the Judaeo-Christian Tradition: The Myth and The Reality" by Sherif Abdel Azim, Ph.D.- Queens University, Kingston, Ontario, Canada