The Ruling on Marriage Sites That Allow the Exchange of Personal Information and the Like
Question: There are many matrimonial websites that allow men and women to have live and private chats. They can exchange email, addresses, phone numbers and even pictures. Many of the women even describe their bodies. There are muslim men who use the excuse that they are entitled to more than one wife, and they use a lot of their spare time on these sites and as a result, they break up their households. Among those are those who lose interest in their present wives. Some will also get angry when their wives find out what they are doing , then threaten them with divorce and they even physically abuse them.Please advise us in this matter, May Allah bless you.
Answer: I say that this is a great calamity. Indeed this is a wicked act. It is an evil that comes from this technology (the internet) . What is mentioned in this question is not permissable for the men to be looking at these websites and the likes of this. As for a person who says that he is using these sites so he can get married, if he wants to get married, indeed the Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam has guided us on how a person should go and choose a wife. That he should look at her and find what encourages him to marry her in a legislated way. Not following his desires. No doubt that the way the people use the internet to look at women like this, it is something that is not permissable. This way is haraam. It is made unlawful by the legislation, so therefore stay away from it.
What is a permissable way for a man to look at a woman is supported by the text. For example he should look at her hands and her face.if she agrees to that. And also he may look at her while she's walking without her knowing that he's looking at her. Perhaps if she's walking on the street, and hes standing in one spot, he may look at her and the likes of this. But as for the people looking at these websites on the internet, then it is not only impermissable but it brings a lot of evil impact. Because it is not just the look, it may lead to conversation, because the questioner states that they may exchange emails and phone numbers and they may start talking. And this may lead them to speech that is not right for them wa 'authoobila they may fall into adultery and fornication. This is just from their speech, but what about those who exchange pictures and addresses through the internet. This is a great calamity and affliction. A person should stay away from it, because it can lead the one who sees these pictures of the women, it will make him dislike his wife and have desires to be with those women on the internet. Allah subhana wa ta'alaa has ordered the believers to lower their gazes. Allah says :
قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ذَلِكَ أَزْكَى لَهُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ
"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allâh is All-Aware of what they do."[An-Nur 24:30]
The point in preference here is that this act is not permissable. It is incumbent upon the muslim to fear his lord and he should not look at what is impermissable for him to look at. The Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam was asked about the second look. If a person didn't have any desire to look, the Prophet sallallahu alayhe was salaam said "If this happened then you need to turn your eyes from that." So for example if a woman comes out and some parts of her are exposed (accidentally) and a person didnt desire to look, but he looked the first time, then the first is ok, but the second will be counted against him.
So if this is the case, what about those who sit in front of the internet and chat with these women who it's not permissable to talk to? Sending pictures and exchanging pictures, what will they say to Allah subhana wa ta'alaa on yawm al qiyamah? Again this is not permissable. It is an unlawful act. It is wicked and horrendous and a despicable act that destroys households. It seperates the spouses. And this is enough that this evil here destroys the households, that it is sufficient for it to be labeled as an evil and despicable act. So it is incumbent on every muslim who is listening, or to whom this message reaches to fear Allah subhana wa ta'alaa, and to stay away from those websites and chatrooms because this isn't permissable.
Q & A Sheykh Muhammad ibn Hadee al Madkhaalee -hafidthuallah
November 26, 2006
Translated by Abu Muhammad al Maghrebee
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