NPR Two-Part Series on Muslim Plural Marriage in the US

Assalaamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh.

Today, NPR (National Public Radio) aired a two-part series on the practice of polygyny amongst Muslims living in the US. The first part focuses on the immigrant community, the second on the African American community. It's interesting to see the contrast between the reactions and opinions expressed in the two communities maashaaAllaah. The second part audio won't be available until around 7 this evening, but maaashaaAllaah the brothers and sisters who were interviewed did an excellent job. So, definitely visit the second story page later to listen to the audio.

Part One: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90857818
Part Two: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90886407

NEW AUDIO: Marital Reflections from the Best of Speech and the Best of Guidance

Assalaamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh. Alhamdulillaah, I had the pleasure of delivering a lecture on marriage entitled, "Marital Reflections: From the Best of Speech and the Best of Guidance," at Masjid Uqbah in Cleveland, Ohio. The audio of the lecture can be accessed on the player above under the heading, "Marital Reflections (Masjid Uqbah)." Also, for those that would like to purchase a hard-copy of the lecture, it will be available as a CD shortly via the Polygynous Expressions' e-store: http://www.lulu.com/poly_blessings.

Baarak Allaahu feekum!

Polygynous Blessings Revised

Polygyny Audio

FOR YOUR LISTENING BENEFIT

ALSO CHECK OUT:

Jealousy of the Women-Hassan As-Somaali

For those that would like to listen to the recent lecture that I did on PALTALK, you may do so by scrolling down to the third lecture on the player above entitled, "PALTALK: Polygyny in Islaam." Or, you may download the lecture at the following link:

http://www.divshare.com/download/3593329-4f5

***CORRECTION: In the PALTALK lecture on polygyny in Islaam given Thursday, January 24, when speaking about the mistaken claim of people that aayah 129 of Soorat An-Nisaa' abrogates the permissibility of polygyny, it was stated that the verse which people claim is being abrogated is aayah 4. This is a mistake. The correct verse is aayah 3. 'Afwaan.

For those who would like the written transcript of the PALTALK lecture, you may access it by clicking here.

Baarak Allaahu feekum!

UPDATE: Polygyny Anthology Project

Bismillaah Inalhamdalillaah was-Salaatu was-Salaamu 'Aalaa Rasulillaah wa Ba'd:

Assalaamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh. Submissions for the brothers' polygyny anthology as well as the co-wife anthology are no longer being accepted. Polygynous Expressions has merged the brothers' anthology with the co-wife anthology and we are diligently working to compile a beneficial piece of literature. The first draft has been completed and mashaaAllaah is 160 pages of scholarly proofs, beneficial reminders and wise naseehah. The book has been forwarded to a number of students of knowledge for review, may Allaah reward them abundantly for assisting us in this endeavor. And may Allaah reward all those who have submitted material for publication. Ameen. Please keep us in your du'aa and refer back to the Polygynous Expressions site in the future for updates on the release of our latest book, which will be entitled, "Ta'addud Az-Zawjaat: Candid Reflections on Polygyny from the Muslim Ummah."

Baarak Allaahu feekum!

Sister Aneesa fee New York
Founder, Polygynous Expressions
http://www.polygynousexpressions.com
***

Ta’addud Az-Zawjaat: Candid Reflections on Polygyny from the Muslim Ummah

COMPILED BY: Aneesa Azeez/Polygynous Expressions
PUBLISHER: TBA

About the Book
Ta'addud Az-Zawjaat: Candid Reflections on Polygyny from the Muslim Ummah will be the second publication to be released by Aneesa Azeez, also known as MizAzeez, following the publication of her memoir entitled, Polygynous Blessings: Musings of a Muslim Wife.

Included within this new publication are: commentary by reputable Muslim scholars, past and present, on Qur’aanic verses and Prophetic narrations related to marriage in general and polygyny in particular; scholarly advice and legal rulings on issues related to polygyny; testimonials from Muslim men and women on the benefits and trials of plural marriage, including advice on correctly and successfully implementing polygyny; narrations from the wives of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, regarding their dealings within polygyny; and reminders from the Qur’aan and Sunnah regarding emotions that undoubtedly arise within a polygynous marriage, such as jealousy, envy, and anger, as well as remedies to such behavior, such as patience and complete trust in and reliance upon Allaah.

Ta'addud Az-Zawjaat will be the first book to be released as part of an anthology series launched by Polygynous Expressions, a venture which seeks to publish literature highlighting positive examples of plural marriage within the Muslim community, alongside providing advice and scholarly proof on polygyny from the Qu'raan, Sunnah, and pious Muslim predecessors.

Polygynous Expressions was started in order to respond to the growing desire within the Muslim community for positive literature on polygyny written from a more personal standpoint, however, framed within the shade of the Qur’aan and Sunnah. While there is some written material on the topic of polygyny in Islaam from a more personal standpoint, most of this literature is from the voice of Muslim women, some directly involved in polygyny, some not. In addition, the resounding voice of existing literature on polygyny in Islaam from a personal standpoint seems to be a voice of opposition and Allaah, glorified and high is He above all imperfections, knows best.

Indeed, from the important aspects of a Muslim’s life is marriage and from the aspects of marriage ordained by Allaah and practiced by the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, is polygyny. Allaah states in the Qur’aan, the meaning of which is, “Marry other women of your choice, two, or three or four.” And it has been reported in Saheeh Al-Bukhaari from Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, “Marry, for the best person from this (Muslim) nation (i.e. Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him) had the largest number of wives.”

Many amongst the Muslim ranks are beginning to realize the growing need and practice of polygyny and so, instead of trying to avoid this part of the religion of Islaam or relegate it to the status of some type of abnormality or exception, more Muslims are seeking to better understand how to establish and maintain successful polygynous marriages. It is the sincere intention and hope of the compilers of Ta’addud Az-Zawjaat: Candid Reflections on Polygyny from the Muslim Ummah, that this book will aid the Muslims in better understanding and submitting to the legislation of Allaah, and that it will assist in strengthening the familial and marital bonds present throughout the Muslim community. And indeed, with Allaah lies all success.

The Anthology Project

Fulfilling the Marital Bond’s Intended Purpose

Deen. That all-encompassing word that so concisely describes the relationship of Islaam to its adherents…a way of life. The concept of faith being an entity separate from one’s worldy affairs is foreign to Islaam. For the Muslim, the one who submits oneself completely to the Will and Qadr of Allaah, spiritual and worldly affairs coincide, so that one’s actions, whether they be the performance of the salaah or actions related to one’s career aspirations, should all be with the intention of seeking the pleasure of Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala. And one’s actions will not gain Allaah’s subhanahu wa ta’ala pleasure unless they are in accordance with what He subhanahu wa ta’ala has legislated, both in the Qur’aan and in the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.

This connection between one’s actions and one’s submission to the commandments of their Rabb does not stop when it comes to marriage. Indeed from the benefits and blessings of Al-Islaam is Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala enjoining upon his male and female servants the bond of matrimony. However, in the Qur’aan, Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala not only enjoins the believing men and women to get married, but He ta’ala also explains the purpose behind this marital bond, a purpose that is connected to a husband and wife’s treatment of one another. Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala states in the Noble Qur’aan, the meaning of which is:

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.” (Surat Ar-Ruum 30:21)

Also, Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala states in the Noble Qur’aan, the meaning of which is:

“It is He Who has created you from a single person, and He has created from him his wife, in order that he may enjoy the pleasure of living with her.” (Surat Al-A’raaf 7:189)

In Ibn Katheer’s tafseer of the above-mentioned ayah he states that it is “out of Allaah’s perfect mercy [that] He made their [Adam’s progeny’s] wives from their own kind, and created love and kindness between them.” So, inherent in the design of mankind is the establishment of a relationship of love and mercy between the spouses. For indeed, Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala could have made women of a different creation from men, but instead in His Infinite Wisdom and Mercy, he created men and women from the same essence in order that they may be a source of tranquility and pleasure for one another.

Once the purpose behind Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala creating men and women is established in the minds of the Believers, there can be no doubt that in order to gain the pleasure of the Creator, one must not only get married, but in doing so, must treat their spouse in the manner which Allaah subhanahu wa ta’ala has intended them to: with affection and mercy. Without these components, one’s fulfillment of the marital bond is left incomplete, bereft of its intended benefits in this life and unworthy of its potential rewards in the next life. And indeed with Allaah lies all success.

Ibn al-Qayyim on Polygyny

Ibn al-Qayyim Discusses the Wisdoms of Islamic Polygyny

First, he addresses the wisdom in limiting the number of wives specifically to four:

"...so, this is from the completeness of His blessing and Shari'ah, and is in accordance with His wisdom, mercy, and benefit for His servants. This is because one of the purposes of marriage is sexual intercourse and the fulfillment of one's desire, and from the people are those who are overtaken by their desire, and are not satisfied with one. So, He allowed him a second, third, and fourth one (i.e. three additional wives)...and the Legislator has attached numerous rulings to this number (three), as He has allowed the migrant to remain in Makkah for three days after completing his rituals, and allowed the traveller to wipe over his footwear for three days, and made the preferred length of hosting a guest to be three days..."

He then goes on to explain the wisdom in allowing multiple spouses for the man, in exclusion to the woman:

"...this is from the completeness of the Wisdom of the Exalted Lord, and His goodness and mercy towards His servants, and His taking their interests into account, and He is Exalted above doing anything other than this, and His Shari'ah is far from coming with other than this. If it was allowed for the woman to have two or more husbands, the world would be ruined, and progeny would be lost, and the husbands would end up killing each other, and a crisis would ensue, and the fitnah would become severe, and war would erupt. And how can the affair of the woman remain firm when she has bickering partners? And how can the affair of these partners themselves remain firm? So, the coming of the Shari'ah with what it came with of opposition to this is from the greatest of proofs of the wisdom, mercy, and consideration of the Legisator.

So, if it is said: how can the interests of the man be taken into account, with his being able to marry whom he wants, fulfill his desire, and move from one woman to the next in accordance with his desires and needs - all while the needs of the woman are just like his needs, and the desires of the woman are just like his desires?

We answer: since it is the nature of the woman to be concealed behind the walls and hidden in the depths of her home, and her moods are cooler than that of the man, and her outer and inner movements are less than his movements, and the man has been given strength and intensity that leads his desire more so than with the woman, and he has been tested with what she has not been tested with, he is granted the choice of having multiple spouses that is not available to the woman. This is from what Allah has set aside exclusively for the male, and has preferred for them over women, just as He has preferred for them Messengership, Prophethood, Khilafah, kingship and leadership, governance, Jihad , etc. over women. Also, He has made men to be guardians over women, traversing about for the purpose of looking after their best interests, constantly on the lookout for means of sustaining them, encountering dangers, and exposing themselves to all types of hardships in the path of doing what is best for their wives. So, the Exalted Lord is Thankful and Forbearing, and He thanks them for this, and has compensated them by instilling for them what He did not instill for their wives.

And if you compare the fatigue, hardship, and efforts of the man in fulfilling the interests of the women with what the women have to endure of jealousy, you would find that the man's share of having to endure this fatigue, hardship, and effort is much greater than what the women have to endure of jealousy..."

He continues:

"As for the one who says that the desire of the woman is even more than that of the man, this is not the case. The driving force behind the desire is fervor (lit. heat). So, where is the fervor of the woman in comparison to the fervor of the male? The woman - because of her free time, slowness, and absence of what will keep her busy from the fulfillment of her desire - might be overtaken by her desire, and will not find that which would oppose it. Rather, it finds a heart and soul free from distraction. So, it is able to instill itself within her to the utmost, resulting in one assuming that her desire is multiple times that of the man, and this is not the case.

And from that which proves this is that if a man has intercourse with his wife, he can have intercourse with other women in the same time frame, and the Prophet used to go around to all of his wives in a single night, and Sulayman went to 90 women in a single night, and it is known that with each woman, he displays desire and fervor that drives him to have intercourse. The woman, on the other hand, if the man fulfills his desire with her, she becomes exhausted, and does not seek to fulfill her desire with any additional man within that time frame.

So, the wisdom of of the Decree, Legislation, Creation, and Command is implemented, and praise is for Allah."

['I'lam al-Muwaqqi'in'; 2/64-66]